Thirteen year old Linda woke up feeling no different than she had the days when she was twelve. She sighed as she rolled out of bed; dutifully, she made her bed with the precision of the people who made hospital beds. Who did that anyways? She pondered, nurses?
She shrugged and started for the door when something on her nightstand caught her eye. A silver chain with a big heart pendant sat there, and she was reminded of the promise she made her grandmother. She still didn't know what "staying pure" exactly meant, but she figured she'd know when she had to. After all, Nonna said she'd know what that meant, and Nonna never lied.
Speaking of Nonna, it was their day today! She was excited, because Nonna had said they could do whatever she wanted! And Linda wanted ice cream, that she knew for sure.
So she picked out an outfit of dark blue shorts and a matching light blue top, and grabbed her necklace from her nightstand. She stood in front of her mirror to put it on. She traced the big, white heart dangling from the chain, tilting her head to the side.
Why would a necklace need something that big? she wondered. Weren't... what did Mama call it? A pendant?... weren't those supposed to be small?
Linda shrugged as she bounded down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Thankfully, her father wasn't there. She didn't want to be reminded of her disastrous birthday party last night.
"Hey, Half Pint," Jimmy smiled at her as she took her seat at the breakfast table next to him. "How's it feel being old?"
"Thirteen isn't old!" She retorted, a crease in her forehead. "But since you asked, it feels exactly like being twelve."
"That's what I thought, too. Wait till your fifteen, like me, then you'll have some fun."
"But I already have fun?" She was confused. She'd had fun her whole life— why would she be having more fun, or better fun, in two years?
"You'll understand when you're my age, kid."
"But I'm never going to be your age. You'll always be two years older than me."
"You're too smart," he said after a few beats. "Here, eat some brain rotting sugar." He pushed his bowl of Cocoa Puffs towards her, and smiled at her face lighting up. He was convinced she'd do anything for chocolate.
*********
"Nonna," Linda started, a serious tone evident in her voice.
"Yes, dolcezza?" She swung their joined hands as they walked.
"Why does my necklace have this big heart on it? Shouldn't it be smaller?"
"You saying you don't want it?"
"Oh, no, Nonna! Of course I want it- it's beautiful! I'm just wonderin', is all."
"It's big because it's meant to hold a picture."
"A picture? A picture of what?"
"Of what you love most. Before I gave it to you, it held a picture of your Nonno."
"What should I put inside it?"
"Well, that's up to you, dolcezza. What or who do you love most?"
She thought long and hard about that one. She loved chocolate, but it seemed stupid to carry a piece of chocolate in a necklace. She loved elephants, but she had plenty of elephant pictures in her room. She thought about putting a picture of her parents in her necklace, but she was still mad at her Dad.
After a long silence, she stated, "that'd be you, Nonna!"
Rosita stopped walking to look at her granddaughter. She smiled widely and hugged her tightly. "Ti voglio bene, Linda."
"Anch'io ti amo!" She hugged her grandmother tightly. "Will you help me find a good picture of you to put in here when we get home?"
"Of course I will."
Linda grinned like she had solved the world's hardest problem. "Can we get ice cream now, Nonna?"
Rosita laughed, "don't ever change, Mia dolcezza."
Linda didn't understand that, "Jimmy says I'm gonna change a lot. I've already changed some. I'm a woman now!"
She smirked- her granddaughter was only a woman in one sense. In all other senses, she was still a young girl. If Rosita had her way, she'd keep Linda young and innocent and bright forever. "I meant always stay kind and bright. Don't let things turn you into a mean, uncaring person."
"I don't want to be mean and uncaring. Who would chose to be that way on purpose? They'd be lonely all the time."
She looked down at the young girl and stopped walking again. She looked her granddaughter in the eye, "are you scared of being lonely, Linda?"
After a few moments of contemplation, she nodded solemnly. "Yes, Nonna. I don't want to be alone. I woke up once from a nap, and everyone was outside, but I didn't know that. I thought they had left me!"
Rosita hugged her tightly. "No one should ever make you feel lonely. If you do, get away from them. They don't deserve you if they make you feel that way."
Again, that was another conversation her thirteen year old mind couldn't really comprehend, but she promised her grandma nonetheless.
*********
Many years later, Linda sat Indian style on her bed, sticking her tongue out as she meticulously cut the picture into a heart shape.
"Whatcha doin'?" Her husband asked, sitting down next to her.
She cut the last part of the picture, letting the unneeded paper fall to the bed. "Cutting this picture into a heart." She held up the picture for him to see.
The picture showed herself, Danny, Jack, and Sean all smiling in their best Christmas attire. Danny guessed by how young the boys were, it was an early picture of them. They were all smiling broadly.
"What're you going to do with it?" He handed it back to her.
"Put it in my locket." She opened the white heart, "Nonna told me to keep what I love most in this locket. While I love her dearly, she's not here anymore, but you and Jack and Sean... you guys are. And my family means the world to me, so... in you go."
He smiled at her as she clasped her prized possession around her neck. "So is that necklace your most prized possession?"
"No," she said truthfully. "These are," she held out her left and wiggled her ring finger. "Because without these, all this wouldn't be possible." She gestured in a vague circle, referencing her surroundings.
He shook his head with a smile, "I love you."
"I love you more," she responded decisively.
"I love you most." He kissed her then, and hugged her. How had he gotten so lucky?
