My body is not a comfortable place. I want to crawl out of it and just be a skeleton sometimes. Shed those layers that, though they really don't amount to much, make me feel so much more than I really am. I wish I could say I'm comfortable in my own skin but that's really hard when you're an overthinker who subconsciously compares yourself to everyone despite knowing better. It's one of those little things that eats away at you before you realize you've been obsessing over it all this time. I don't know what's wrong with me or if I have some internal issues that are the cause for this discomfort. I've been eliminating so much, I don't have a lot left before there is nothing. Exercising is hard in a place with hardwood floor when you have a damaged tailbone. It's just hard in general when I'd rather be creating. But I'm not taking care of myself if I don't exercise and that makes me feel guilty rather than give me motivation. I'm not by any means unhealthy in terms of diet, necessarily, but there's only so much I can do when I don't eat enough as it is. If I'm so deficient why is it not making a difference? Why do I get one day out of weeks where I'm actually comfortable and confident and everything feels okay? Is that a sign that it's merely psychological? I don't even know. I've dealt with this for ten years. Almost eleven. That's too long, isn't it? My mom said it was a long time. And rather than go into further detail, I just laughed it off like it didn't matter. Why do I always make light of the things that bother me most?
My body is not a comfortable place.
YOU ARE READING
losing yourself
Non-FictionI'm not asking for empowerment, I'm asking you to listen. I think too much and I obsess over things that don't matter. Mature because I don't have a filter. Updated only when I feel like it. //I don't own the artwork on the cover, just feel like it...
