Bxb one shots!!!

I'm sorry for everything

Hey guys. Guess what? Back to prison motherfuckers (jk u guys are amazing)!!!And by prison I mean school.

Anyways not much to say about this one. Its pretty sad I suppose and it's not really a bxb one shot. I'm sorry, it basically goes completely against the title of this whole book but I really felt like writing it.

Okay, imma shut up now and let you read the story. Enjoy!!

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As I stare at the camera, words flow out of my mouth and tears threaten to fall. I look directly at the camera lenses right next to the red light telling me it's on. I take in a deep shaky breath then I start to speak my finally goodbyes.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper.

"I'm sorry I'm not the son you wanted, that I'm just an experiment gone wrong. I'm sorry that the person who I am and have become isn't good enough for you. If I could take back one moment in my life, it would be that day I was born so no one would have to suffer me being in their life." A small tear slides down my pale cheek.

"But it's okay, you don't have to worry about me anymore, not that you ever did. I know you don't need me, nobody needs me. Who could blame them. I'm sorry for sticking around for so long, I thought maybe life could get better but really it only got worse." I spoke looking at my lap.

"Mum, I'm sorry I made you suffer all that time you spent carrying me in your stomach. Taking care of me as a baby. I could tell that I was just a burden to you, your eyes said it all. Dad, sorry I wasn't the son you hoped for. Sorry I don't like sport...or girls. I know how much you hate 'FAGS' but it's just who I am...was." My tears started to flow freely now.

"To my teachers and students, I apologize for having to go to your school and corrupt your lives with myself being there. To everyone who bullied me, it doesn't matter now and anyways I deserved it." I wiped all my tears away with the back of my hand, last person I thought to myself as I looked back up at the camera.

"Lastly to my best and only friend that I ever had, Luke. Luke you meant everything to me, you gave me so much hope that life would get better and I tried Luke, for so long. I fought and fought but the light had completely gone out and all I saw was darkness. Luke I'm so sorry that you are going to have to deal with this but please, please don't. Don't shred a single tear for me cause I don't deserve it. Besides I'm not really someone to be dwelled on." I said looking straight at the camera lens as I continued.

"Luke, I know you don't and never will feel the same way but I love you. I've been I'm love with you for years. Everything about you is...words cannot describe." I said laughing the last part slightly.

"I guess I just wanted you to know that now cause I'm not going to be able to tell you ever again. So I love you Luke, to the edge of this never ending universe and back again." My eyes did not look away from the lens, wanting him to know how much I meant it.

"So that's it I guess. I'm sorry, please forgive me...goodbye." And with that I stood up and turned the camera off.

My legs felt wobbly as I then walked over to my desk and wrote on a piece of paper 'play me' and stuck it on the camera.

This is it I thought, all the pain and suffering I have caused with soon fade away.

I climbed up on the chair I had placed earlier with a noose hanging just above it. I tightened the rope around my neck then dropped my hands to my sides.

I inhaled a deep breath, my last breath and closed my eyelids. I prepared myself then finally I whispered my last word.

"Goodbye."

Then sharply push the chair to the left letting in fall to the ground with a loud thud leaving me hanging there.

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After I died what I didn't know is what happened to my body that I had to leave behind. All the memories people had of me, my family, my teachers, students in my classes, my bullies...Luke.

What I didn't know was that my mum came back from work that night and called out my name, only not to here a reply. For her to walk up the stairs and enter my room and see me there. For her legs to completely give in and her body fall to the ground. I didn't know the cries and pleads she screamed begging for me to come back.

I knew she would watch the video but I hadn't a clue of her reaction. Which was more crying and her yelling from the top of her lungs this was her fault and screaming 'its not fair!'.

What I didn't know was that when my dad came home he heard my mother crying and ran towards the sound, to my bedroom and then him see me there.

For him to hold my mum in his arms before taking my limp, pale body down from the rope. He watched the video to by the way, his face had never giving off any emotional expressions in his life but as he watched a single tear fell down his cheek.

After I died I didn't know that my school would of held a ceremony for me, that all my bullies thought it was all their fault and beat themselves up everyday for it.

And what I didn't know was that my mum went to Luke's house and gave him the tape. That he watched it and cried, his tears never drying up for he loved me just as munched as I loved him. That he didn't sleep or eat for days till he couldn't handle it anymore.

The house was empty and the knife already in his hands. He had written a note for everyone he loved, including me even though I would never get it. With one deep slice his soul was sent up to heaven.

One act that I did, lead to another persons death and even more pain to the same people.

I didn't know what would happen after i died but of I did, I would have never done it cause now I killed the only person in the whole world that I truly cared for. And till forever runs out I will have to deal with the guilt and suffering I have brought upon myself.

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Wow, pretty deep stuff huh. Well that was it sorry it wasn't really a bxb one shot, it just came to my mind and I wrote it.

Also if your going through a rough time, I'm always here for you and I think you are so truly amazing and beautiful just for who you are.

Anyways I hoped u somehow enjoyed it and till next time stay perfectly perfect aka you.