Hey guys.
I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while I haven't really been feeling up to it but anyways I hope u guys enjoy.
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Hey I guess, Or goodbye?
If your reading this that's means u will never see me again. I'm gone, just like you wished.
I have put up with this for so long, my entire life. Everyday I used to walk around like a ghost. No one would see me, hear me, it was like a was dead but still living.
I was just waste of space, useless, a nobody, I had convince myself that after you and everyone else had printed it into my skull.
It was as if you had just pushed me into a deep, dark hole where I was all alone with a blade for company. Then u judge me by my scars, u didn't know my story! What I went through, what I had to live with!!
My abusive father, punching me bashing me, killing me little by little. The bruises covering my body, the broken bones I had to suffer through.
My mother only looking at me with disgust. Not the son she wanted and u want to know why I know that? Because she reminded me everyday.
Her voice would ring in my ears "you're just a waste of space, a waste of air!", "you were an accident, I was never meant to have u", "why couldn't u have been more like your brother, instead you're just some worthless piece of garbage".
My picture perfect brother. You had everything, our parents love, the brains, captain of the football team, all the girls kneeling to at you're feet. And not once did u give a shit about me. U knew our father would bashed me till I blacked out, u knew the pain I had to endure and U DID NOTHING!! U didn't lift your head up or say anything. Where were u when I need u most!?!?
I hope you're happy now, u killed someone, u killed your own son. I'm not selfish for doing this, no one can say I am. This is your fault, u pushed me over the edge. My pleads and sadness meant nothing to you.
So I guess this is goodbye. Finally.
~Alec
I finished it off with my name and laid it on the floor in front of the chair and a noose hanging from the ceiling. This is it, I will finally be free of this pain that I have suffered through for so long.
I slowing lifted my foot and placed it on the wooden chair, my arm and legs shaking. As I stood on the chair I tightened the rope around my neck.
I felt a tear roll down my cheek, not because of family but because of the one person I will be missing most in the world, the reason I had stayed here this long, the only one I want to see in heaven when his time comes. Even if he will never want me or be with me I will always love him.
It had just fallen night, the inky sky was so beautiful. I looked out the window and up at the moon, it at its fullest and brightess. It was truly a wonderful night to die on.
Still staring at the moon i forced the chair left and right with all my strength till it tumbled over leaving me hanging there.
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Trey's P.O.V.I sat there, on my bed curled up into a ball crying my soul out. It has been 3 days since Alec had took his own life. And you wouldn't be able to imaging how much pain I'm in.
He was the love of my life, my soul mate. And now he's gone. Tears continue to run down my face while I used all the energy I had to get up and walk into my bathroom.
I looked in the mirror to see my eyes red, blood shot and puffy. I turned the tap on and started to splash water on my face trying to wash the sleepiness away. How could he? After everything, after how long he fought to just give up.
I walked but into my room and collapsed back onto my bed. Why? Is all that kept repeating in my head. Why did he do it?
I felt tears start to well up in my eyes, I miss him so much. I wish I had told him how much he meant to me, how much I just wanted to wrap him in my arms, feel his lips upon mine.
I started to sob harder into my already drenched pillow. I looked up and snatched my Iphone of the bed side table.
I unlocked it using his name Alec-2532 then searched for his name in my contacts.
I dialed his phone number a let it ring through till I heard his miss phone call voice message (LOL sorry I have no idea what its was called).
It's Alec, sorry I missed ur call but I'll get right back to you as soon as I can. Bye.
I started to sob harder, he always said bye but never 'goodbye' to him when he said that it was perminate. Like by him saying goodbye he would never see that person again.
He didn't say goodbye when I last saw him, we were walking home from school to his house only a few streets away from mine. I always walked him home, I never wanted to part with him.
On that evening it was partly cloudy but the sunset turned the clouds a beautiful orange. We stood in front of his drive and he gave me a hug.
But it was different, it was longer, it felt more warm. As if everything he wanted to say, he was trying to tell me through that one last hug.
He let go and said "Bye Trey, I'll see you soon." and with a wave he left into his house.
I started to hug my pillow as if it was the hug Alec had given me. I wanted him to know how much I loved... love him. How much I need him now.
Suddenly I got up putting on some skinny jeans and a hoodie and climbing out my window, which was luckily on the ground floor and not the second story.
The sky was a dangerous grey and the rain was pounding. I didn't know where I was going but for a while i just walked.
It was as if my legs were in control of my body but really I didn't care. I don't how long it had been till my legs suddenly stopped. I lifted my head and took in my surroundings.
The familiar gates and walls surrounding hundreds upon hundreds of tombstones reached my glaze.
The wind started to pick up, sending the droplets of rain crashing into my face as I made my way through the gravestones till my eyes landed on the one I was looking for.
I took step after step till I finally reached it and I knelt down, lowering my head as well.
"I'm sorry Alec, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry I couldn't of have been a better friend, even if that was all we would ever be." I could feel tears streaking my face but to anybody else it would of just look like water from the rain.
"I love you so much Alec I always have, always will till time runs out. I wish I could I have told you sooner before any of this happened. I wish it never happened. Please...please forgive me for not seeing the pain you were in, I saw your scars and asked you about it but ur lips remained sealed. Maybe if I tried harder, maybe you would still be here. It's all my fault, you were the love of my life but I wasn't strong enough to hold onto you. I'm sorry Alec...I'm sorry" I whispered the last part as my cries took over my voice.
I stood up on my shaky legs and looked upon his grave before saying one last word.
"Good...bye" Before I turned on my heel and walked away leaving behind only tracks in the damp wet grass.
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Sorry this was such a crappy chapter, I've been kinda depressed but i hope u somehow enjoyed it and till next time stay perfectly perfect aka u. I love u guys <3 peace out.
DU LIEST GERADE
Bxb one shots!!!
RandomThis is a series of Bxb one shots/short stories I have pull out of my mind and put it into words. TRIGGER WARNINGS: Self harm Abuse Suicide Drinking? Idk and other depressing stuff There's also lovey dovey and romantic stuff in here as well so in...