Because of You

Chapter 3: The Headlights

It's March. MARCH. The school year is almost over. How did I let this much time pass me by? It's like I blinked and woke up seven months later. Sadly, not much has changed since the first day of school. I've just been going through the motions of life, to be honest. Every day I wake up and tell myself, "This will be the day! This will be the day I talk to Hayden." But that day never comes. Just as I expected; so close, yet so far away.

This year has been fun with Maggie, at least. We had a blast performing at football games, hanging out after school at our houses, and sleepovers on the weekends. Maggie and I have spent the school year stuck at the hip, not really socializing with anyone else, which has been perfect. We've successfully steered clear of any and all drama this year, but kept up with everything from afar of course. There's a few seniors that are pregnant, a couple of juniors got arrested for having drugs at school, and the freshmen Spanish teacher got fired for texting with his female students. So it's been an eventful year to say the least.

This year has been really great for the drill team. Did I mention I landed the role of captain back in August? So yeah, it's been a big year for me leading the team alongside Mom. We've had a lot of fun together and it's been a really cool experience. Plus, there's been minimal drama amongst the twenty-three girls on the team, which has been pleasantly surprising. This year has easily been the best year so far in Mom's career. Football season was absolutely incredible. We were practically the talk of the town, even more so than the actual football games. I helped Mom choreograph routines for the competition season, which was last month. We totally dominated and won first place in multiple categories, including "Best Original Choreography." I even won a few awards for my solo performance.

I started taking private advanced dance lessons in Atlanta on Monday's, which has been such a fun challenge for me. It's nice to be training with a coach and other students that are extremely serious about dance. I'm definitely pushed out of my comfort zone and challenged way more than I am in the drill team, which I need. It's quite the drive to our studio, and since I only have my learner's permit, Mom goes with me. But it's been a good way for us to spend more time together.

Mom and I have been doing some serious research about schools in New York. She's always been so supportive of me chasing big, crazy dreams. Sometimes I think she's more excited about it than I am. But I know she wishes she could go back and do things over again. I know she wishes she went to a prestigious school in a big city and danced professionally. And it's not that I don't want to go to NYC and study dance, but sometimes I feel like I'm chasing after her dreams more than mine. Nevertheless, it's fun to dream with her.

And as much as all of that brings me joy, I constantly have a sinking feeling in my heart. I know time is running out with Hayden. Soon he'll graduate and move away, and I'll never see him again. Maggie knows it too. I mean, over two years of my life have been spent in love with him at this point. She can tell it's more than just a crush for me, and she is always so kind and encouraging about the possibility of us really being together. I can see the sadness she has for me in her eyes, even when she's trying to lighten the mood and make me happy. Of course, my mom notices it too, but deep down, I know she thinks it's just a silly little crush that will never come to be. I don't think she quite understands the feelings I have for Hayden.

The good news is, I finally figured out Hayden's class schedule. Athletics first thing, then math, anatomy and physiology, dual credit English, lunch, art, government, then computer with me. So obviously, I walk to my classes in routes that would allow me to see him walking to his. Sure, it's more effort on my part, but I don't mind. And even Maggie does her best to keep up with my crazy routes. I have to speed out of my chemistry class to catch him walking to English, but I have to take my sweet, sweet time heading to dance so I can pass him on his way to art. I have to take the long route on my way to math so I can follow him to government. You get it. It's a real process. But it's worth it.