Because of You

Chapter 12: The Full Moon

"From the top!" Shouts our show director, Deborah, or Ms. Deborah as we call her. The stage lights are hot on my already sweaty body. It's Wednesday, and we're perfecting one of the most important dance routines in the show. Elise has really high expectations for this scene, and so do I, since I'm the lead. We run through the routine again for the eighth time today. My body is completely exhausted, but since I'm front and center, I can't let that show. Plus, I really don't want to let Ms. Deborah down. I've known her since I was three, when I started taking dance classes here at her theater. And she's made it very clear how proud of me and excited she is for taking the lead dancer role this year. I really do want to make her proud.

"Okay, not bad. But not great." Elise says. Her platinum blonde curls fling all over the place as she talks. Elise is a very animated and intense lady, and everyone here basically bows down to her. "Back row, you're late on the pirouettes. And you guys, remember to get lower in the plies in the third eight-count. I want to see bigger movements over all. Stop being scared and playing it small! ENERGY, you guys! Take five everybody."

My body involuntarily drops to the floor as I try to catch my breath. I'm completely drenched in sweat, even though I'm only wearing spandex shorts and a sports bra. Normally, I would have more clothing on out of insecurity, but these rehearsals have really been whipping me into shape and my abs are really coming through, so I feel fine. The other dancers hop off the stage to grab water and chit chat, but I can't seem to move.

"Woah man, you good?" Chase asks as he plops down next to me. Chase is one of my best friends here. He's about 5'10, with green eyes and long, shaggy brown hair. We're the same age, and he goes to a private fine arts school here in the city. Normally, I would feel super weird being close friends with another guy when I'm in such a serious relationship. But Chase is also in a serious relationship with one of the actresses here, Riley. She and I aren't super close, but we get along. I sort of have the feeling she's not a fan of me being such good friends with Chase though.

"Yeah, fine. Just exhausted." I lay on my back, right in the middle of the stage, as Chase sits next to me. He slowly drinks his water, and offers me some.

"Well this is good conditioning. I mean, if you're going to be a Rockette one day, gotta have that stamina, lady." Chase nudges my leg and laughs.

"A Rockette?" I ask, as I laugh and look at him like he's crazy.

"Yeah girl! Seriously, you have like REAL Rockette potential. I mean, isn't that the dream for a dancer like you?"

I sigh. Isn't it the dream? I guess I'm supposed to say yes. And sure, it sounds nice. I love the idea. But now anytime I think about New York or dancing professionally, all I can think about is being apart from Hayden. It seems as if dance has turned from an exciting dream, to something pulling me away from the most important thing to me.

I can feel Chase staring at me, confused as to why I'm not responding. I fake a smile. "Uh, yeah. Yeah sure it is. Thanks, dude."

"Alright, one more time!" Elise shouts as she claps her hands loudly. "Impress me!" The dancers quickly run back up onto stage, knowing full well that we follow Elise's orders immediately. "Let's go, let's go, let's go! Places! And 5-6-7-8!"

**

I watch the sky burst with color as the sun sets through Jana's dining room window. It's like a watercolor canvas of oranges, yellows, and pinks. Something about it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I pull out my chair and take a seat at the table. With every movement, my body aches and groans. I've never been this physically exhausted and sore in my life. But it's a small price to pay for being the lead dancer, I guess. Haley and Marcus join us all for dinner, which is nice because we haven't spent much time with them lately. Plus, Jana made her famous chicken pot pie.