Because of You

Chapter 13: The Dead End

It's mid-July. This month is crazy busy for me, with rehearsals continuing every day from eight to one, as well as three performances every weekend. But I'm really enjoying it. Hayden is staying busy with work and his college history class too. But even with all of that, he has come to almost every performance we have had so far. He just continues to surprise me. The endless support, encouragement, and praise he gives me after our performances make me fall in love with him a little more each time.

He drives me home after my fourth show of the month, and of course, he gives me a bouquet of beautiful flowers. I'm sitting in his passenger seat, still in full performance hair and makeup, with the huge bouquet of flowers in my lap.

"Hayden, you really don't have to come to all the shows. You've already seen it four times now!" I say, as we hold hands in the car. "Plus, you're spending all your hard-earned money on flower bouquets!"

He grins. "I am not. And I love watching you dance. Seriously, I want to come." I try to convince him otherwise, but he insists. "Oh, I meant to tell you! My whole family is coming next Friday night. So we should all go to dinner afterwards," he smiles.

Knots immediately form in my stomach at the words 'my family.' I usually don't get very nervous at the thought of people watching me dance, but it's different with Hayden's family. I care more about what they think of me than anyone. I want to really impress them.

"Oh, good. I'm glad they can come! And yeah, dinner sounds great," I say, trying to not show the anxiety that's bubbling up inside me.

"And you should invite your mom. I think that would be great for her to come and hang out with my family."

Mom has still been all over the place, emotionally. But I have noticed that anytime I mention Hayden or ask if I can go see him, her mood immediately worsens. She never asks me about him or us either. It's like she's trying to pretend he doesn't exist or something.

No, I haven't talked to her about it. I'm too scared. I worry that if I bring it up, things may go even more downhill. What if she blows up and gets furious? What if she says she's fine, but her mood gets even worse? I truly don't think I could handle any more tension between us. I mean, right now sucks, don't get me wrong. But I've kind of learned to deal with it. I can't sulk about her being irrational or moody, or her two-month long PMS. I have to live in the now and enjoy my life. So that's exactly what I'm doing.

Hayden drops me off at home, and leaning up against his car, gives me a long, passionate goodbye kiss. I watch him pull out of the driveway and head out of sight. A moment of sadness instantly washes over me.

I walk inside and find mom folding laundry in the living room. She looks up, and without emotion asks, "How did it go?" I give her all the details and she seems pleased.

"Oh, Hayden's family is coming to the show next Friday and they want us all to go to dinner afterwards. Can you come?" I ask, trying to sound as upbeat as I can.

She thinks for a minute. She doesn't look at me. She just keeps folding laundry. "I'll pass," she replies, still not looking at me.

I'm confused. Why would she say no? I want to just let it go, but now I'm furious. "Why?" I ask boldly. I feel my skin getting hot.

She looks up at me, and I can tell she's annoyed, if not mad. "I don't want to, okay? You need to get to bed. It's late."

She continues folding laundry, leaving me more confused and angry with her than I've ever been. I walk to my room, and don't talk to her for the rest of the night.

**

After my Wednesday rehearsals, I head straight to Hayden's house. We have plans to go shopping and get dinner in a part of Atlanta that we've never really explored. I'm so excited. And more so, I'm excited to be away from my mom.