Love Me to the End

|13 - Think I'm Into You|

Ash POV

I chew my lip as I stare at Iris sleeping with the covers drawn up. It took hours to clean Iris, me, and the bed sheets but I had finally been successful at around 4:30am and passed out right after. Turns out, Dorthy's mix of laundry detergent, lemon, salt, and baking soda did the trick.

I hear her soft snores and see a little drool in her mouth. If it was any other person I would probably tell them to shut the fuck up. But I can't really do that to her for some reason.

She is so annoyingly nice.

When she woke up and asked if anything happened last night I said no. Though a small part of me wanted to say yea.

I knew she wouldn't remember it, something I was genuinely grateful for. Like, how do you face your roommate after knowing you literally almost fucked her?? What the hell, universe??

But seeing her still made my insides churn in awkwardness and embarrassment based on just my knowledge of the situation, meaning that the entire day my mantra has been 'ignore and move on'. I'd seen her a lot, and instead of jogging up to her and engaging in small talk, I had begun to bypass her and instead find myself a small corner to sulk in, because, let's face it: Iris is hot and I'm gay as fuck.

And hell was she a good kisser. Like you'd never think that a girl like her, someone sweet and smiley and happy-go-lucky would have such a dark and sexy streak to her. And if I was to be completely honest, I was also a little guilty. She had no recollection of the event, and even though she had never said no, I was such a stickler for simple things like consent that her being so drunk rubbed me wrong. Sure, I was drunk too, to an extent, but I wasn't a total fucking lightweight. I could've had some control at the very least.

It wasn't easy to completely ignore her, and that made me realize just how much I depended on her again. And walking away when she was calling at me? God, that was a nightmare in itself. Everytime someone made a suggestive comment about us, I was so close to punching their face off that my wrist started to hurt at one point.

But throughout the last 24 hours, the thing that shocked me the most would probably be how angry she was at me when I finally stopped. I could practically see the steam coming out of her ears, and her lips were pursed in pure determination.

Has anyone ever seen Iris yell? Because if they have, I wouldn't understand how their panties or boxers hadn't dropped on the floor. Sure, she was slightly terrifying, but she was also ridiculously attractive, something I had noticed before but seemed to be paying more attention to it now.

It was her threat that had me put my head back on straight. I mean, it was obvious, even to me, that I was being ridiculous. Ignoring her was not helping at all. It was just making things worse and driving a wedge between us that I didn't welcome.

A repeat of the other day, though? No, I wouldn't let that happen. Not because I don't want it, but because I don't want to ruin the friendship Iris had carefully crafted.

In all honesty, it was terrifying how much I've started really caring for her. Yet, at the same time, it had given me a reason to wake up with a small smile on my face, something I hadn't done in years.

So here I am, sitting a foot apart from her watching a Disney movie I had never cared about much before, with the same person I had gotten intimate with.

Iris reaches out to grab the gray blanket at my feet and yanks it over the both of us. I hiss softly when I feel her arm brush against mine and electricity travels up my arm. When she scooches into the bed close to me, I unintentionally throw her a glare and she pouts before scooching a few inches away again. Silently, she mouths the song playing on the screen, her eyes never straying from the animated images. Occasional small talk interrupts the quiet every few scenes as I ask questions or she explains the context.