To The Stars I Could Never Reach

V

Ryan's (POV):

After last night I felt horrible for how I reacted the person I should of taken my anger out on was Kane not Darren he was the only one in the room with us that night. At least Darren would get over his feelings for me and neither of us had to worry about saving face. Walking up the stairs when I saw Darren
his face red as a tomato as he rushed out of his room moving quickly down the stairs. Right after that Kane appeared with a smug expression on his face. Kane really was going all out to get Darren it was good though now Darren would have someone to annoy and I'd be left alone, but is it really something I wanted?

"Hey Ryan can you meet me in my office, we need to talk."  

Manager Ty said standing in the door of his office with his arms crossed. I could tell by the expression on his face this conversation was going to be about what happened last night between me and Darren. I didn't want to lie to Ty, but for the sake of the group I've got no choice. Walking into the room walking over to the first black leather chair in front of Tyler's desk sitting down gripping the arms nervously. It was nerve wrecking, my mind was playing out so many scenarios that I felt motion sick.

"Ryan I would like you to explain something to me, what exactly has been going on with you? You've been acting weird since we got back from the UK meet and greet. Did something happen? "

Ty asked crossing his leg over the other unfolding his arms gripping the edge of his desk. I shook my head no, in the back of mind my lips touching Darren's was playing over and over again. Suddenly the door swung open and my entire body felt cold. Darren and Kane walked in to the office taking seats on either side of me. Kane just stared straight ahead not even glancing my way. If only this guy wasn't so fucking annoying? Both of them!

"I want to know what's going on between you guys? Ever since we got back from the UK meet and greet Kane and Ryan have been acting weird, now we've suddenly been having more issues lately. First Kane made a joke that Caused Ryan to have a panic attack,  then we move into this house — Ryan and Darren get into an argument —"

"I'll be honest with you manager Ty there's nothing going on — it's just a complete misunderstanding and some jokes were taken a bit far. Right Ryan?"

Kane said looking at me staring deeply into my eyes a smug expression on his face again. Shaking my head ignoring the urge to tackle him onto the floor knowing the consequences. I simple smiled laughing it off turning to Tyler shaking my head.

"Alright — Darren — do you have an issue with Ryan or Kane?"

Darren looked at us but when his eyes met with mine I could see the hurt in his eyes. If he told anyone what was said last night everything would change and that's what I wanted to keep from happening. For the sake of the group some feelings that could easily change. Darren looked at Kane then back at me his face flushed he dropped his eyes and shook his head no.

"Alright then head downstairs we have a video to get done as well as a interview."

Tyler said not taking his eyes off Darren who was biting his lips nervously. It was obvious that he wanted to say more, but was simple staying silent he was always easy to read.  Not wanting to stick around any longer I walked out of the room, Kane followed and Darren was last. I waited for Kane to walk downstairs before returning to Tyler's office. As soon as Darren walked out closing the door behind him I grabbed him dragging him upstairs not stopping until we reached the roof. He snatched away causing himself to fall backwards pulling me down with him. I landed right on top of him our lips inches from each other the rapid beating of his heart matched with mine as we stared into each other's eyes.

"Darren — "

"Don't —"

"Darren —"

"Please you've said it already, and I understand my feelings aren't important to you. Don't make this any harder than it has to be —- you'll find someone else—"

I quickly cut him off smashing my lips onto his my hand gripping the back of his neck. When our lips parted ways a wave of fear rushed over me, what had I done? Pushing Darren way frustrated with him. If this kept happening I'd be only putting a bigger strain on the group. Pushing myself up using Darren's knees shaking my head in dismay.

"Ryan please — "

"Darren your nothing more than a friend, that kiss was a mistake."

I said before walking back to the door my hand on the knob, for some reason I couldn't bring myself to open the door. Suddenly Darren wrapped his arms around my waist gripping me tightly. There he goes again jumping to conclusions because of a simple mistake. Ripping his arms from around my waste pushing him down then walking back downstairs. What the hell is wrong with me?

After we got done with recording the video for NSB and a couple TikTok's everyone was doing there own thing. The only people who weren't present were Kane and Darren who were upstairs recording a video for Kane's channel. Knowing those two they'll probably argue with each other the entire video. Rolling my eyes I walked to my room door to close it when I noticed Darren chasing Kane with nothing but a towel on and Kane running towards there room with Darren's clothes. Gripping the edge of my door feeling annoyed with them both I swung my door open walking out heading to their room. Stopping at the threshold of the door noticing that it had now become silent. Opening the door slightly my eyes wide with shock as I watched Kane kissing Darren roughly all I could do was stand there and watch in shock. I had to run away! Dammit legs move!! It was to late Kane's eyes locked with mine a smirk on his face as he moved down to Darren's neck and I watched as Darren threw his head back letting out a small moan.

"Bastard."

I whispered bawling my fist tightly my blood boiling —- but why? I'd told Darren that we would never be romantically involved. Tears were stinging my eyes as I thought back to all the times Darren cuddled with me. Running back to my room before anyone could see me wiping away my tears frustrated with myself. There was nothing between us, Darren is only my friend!

"Ryan can I borrow your charger mine — Ryan you good?"

Justin said peering his head in the door shaking my head yes hiding my eyes with my hair pretending to be on my phone my hands and leg were shaking. No matter how hard I was trying my legs and hands wouldn't stop shaking. Pushing back my chair I briskly walked over to my bed pulling the charger from the wall handing it to Justin before walking back to my desk. When the door closed I let my head fall back and the tears go my lips parted as I took deep breaths. I had to pull myself together, if Kane was into Darren then it's fine with me! He's only my weird ass friend, yeah that's all we are friends.