To The Stars I Could Never Reach

XI

Kane's (POV):

I woke up slightly annoyed the whole day I just felt off. I've never felt so — hurt like this before and I've been done wrong before.  Seb walked out of the bathroom shirtless with nothing on but his boxers water dripping from his body. I couldn't help, but stare my mind wondering off. Seb was my friend, I'd just ruined my friendship with Darren and Ryan who I haven't had a sit down with yet. It's best if I just let love find me, and not rush after getting my heart shattered.

"Bro Kane you better be ready I'm gonna pay you back for that spike you did to me last time."

Seb said jokingly I just rolled my eyes with a smirk on my face remember the greatest spike I ever did against my best friend. Suddenly Seb tripped over something and came flying forward before I could move out of the way he landed on top of me his lips hitting mine. We both just laid still for a minute staring at each other in silence wondering what to say. I mean I just kissed my best friend which isn't odd considering I kissed Darren and jerked him around a couple months ago.

"So — umm yeah — let's not say anything about this to anyone."

I said quickly pushing him off not expecting him to pull me back. He pulled me into a kiss and I couldn't do it, pushing him down onto the floor then dipping out of the room gasping for breath holding my hand over my heart. What the hell was happening? Right as I turned to walk the other way Ryan and Darren appeared.

"Oh — hey Kane."

Ryan said cheerfully a big smile on his face, but Darren just kept quiet his eyes on me. The tension grew stronger and stronger the longer we just stood in the hallway. No matter how bad things got between us it was in the past, all I could do was be happy for them even it hurts. Forcing a smile I spun on my heel and bumped into Seb who nervously chuckled.

"Kane i know your still hurting, but I really am —"

"Don't worry about it — since you've already moved on I guess how I feel wasn't important to you. Just know I'm happy for you both, Ryan just— keep him happy and Darren you too."

I said bitterly turning my back  to them now staring into Seb's eyes who looked hurt. I knew that as long as this was going on I had to pretend to be happy for them. Having to look at them left a bittersweet taste in my mouth, but for the sake on no one else finding out I had to control myself. Seb, Oliver, and Tyler already know about what went on between Ryan, Darren and me. Justin and Regie were the only ones who knew nothing.

"Are you really happy for us?"

Darren asked in a soft tone his eyes focused on me it was obvious that he cared for me, but because I ignored the facts I got my heart broken. I'd just have to force myself to deal with it until I can fully heal. As for this thing with Seb my heart would never be his no matter how hard he tries.

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The next few months I worked hard doing twitch streams not letting the stars see the other side of me. Today Tyler gave us a choice to bring back  valentine Date part 2  or Playing Scary Games part 3. Of course they choose valentine dates part 2 this time it was two instead a large group and the time limit was 8:00.

Regie > Justin

Darren > Ryan

Kane > Seb

Oliver > Ty

I got stuck with Sebastian and I already knew this would get awkward fast, but the show must go on.  Everyone dispersed I decided that I'd be the man and take Seb somewhere nice to diffuse the tension between us. Whether I liked it or not I knew he wanted to talk about what happened between us. We arrived at a new restaurant called La'Bouffe it was a bit expensive. The hostess sat us at a table in the far back where there were barely any people which made me kind of happy so I didn't have to feel so nervous about talking to Seb about the issue between us.

"Kane I think we should really talk, I know you've been avoiding me because of it but I really just — I think we should clear the air."

Seb said staring down at his glass of lemonade I could tell he wanted to say more, but was holding back out of fear of saying the wrong thing. Taking a deep breath then exhaling slowly before speaking trying to sound as calm as possible.

"That kiss was so quick it was — nothing — Sebastian I've been purposefully trying to avoid this because I'm still —"

"Not over Darren even after he clearly had made it crystal clear his heart belonged to Ryan. I mean everyone could see that it was only you who was so caught up on winning that you missed the red flags."

He said in a snarky tone I could tell he wasn't trying to sound harsh, but being honest with me out of love. I should of listened to my heart before telling me that things wouldn't work out instead I ignored the signs, well that's all in the past I'm making a statement right here right now that I will no longer —

"I know your still in love with Darren, but I'm just going to be honest— with you — I really like you — "

"Sebastian! You can't be serious— you just said —"

"I know I'm only telling you now so I can get it over with — I know you'll never like me the way you liked Darren. I'm fine with that I just — I wanted to tell you that and that I won't pursue you because it's useless when your still in love with him."

He said taking his straw in between his two fingers stirring his lemonade. I didn't know what to say, did he actually like me? If I hurt him the same way Darren did me knowing my heart belonged to someone, but instead of being honest I lied to myself and hurt the other person I wouldn't be able to live with myself. If I wanted to keep the peace in the house I had to —

"Sebastian I'm still in love with Darren even though he's with Ryan I don't want to hurt you."

I said feeling the tension between us getting higher and higher it almost felt stuffy. I opened my mouth to say something else, but the waitress suddenly appeared ready to take our orders. I quickly ordered the well done stake and Seb ordered the same we both just sat there for a second exchanging awkward looks. From the time the food arrived to us leaving the tension between us got thicker. We hopped into the car and drove him in silence avoiding my eye contact with each other.

"Ooh you guys arrived right on time — looks like Darren and Ryan are going to be punished."

Tyler said swinging his belt over his shoulder, Seb and I just walked up the stairs not saying a word in response secretly happy we weren't going to be punished. I was so glad after our meet and greet I was able to switch rooms and now Justin's my roommate. Speaking of which I wonder what my roommate was doing?

"Hey Kane want to play smash bro downstairs, Seb and Oliver are talking shit again."

Justin said popping up in the door my soul nearly left my body, but luckily I was able to play it off. Walking downstairs with Justin when I noticed Ryan and Darren begging Tyler not to punish them. Darren's hair was a hot mess and Ryan's was too guess they'd gotten a hotel for the night and completely forgot that we had a time limit. Me and Justin walked into the Living room where Oliver, Seb, and Regie were waiting. We played until 9:30 and eventually ended up all heading to bed pretty late.