To The Stars I Could Never Reach

VI

Darren's (POV):

I got out of the shower feeling great it had been a messy video so I was just glad to get a hot bath. Stepping out of the shower grabbing my towel off the sink drying myself off swaying to the music then wrapping the towel around my waste when I noticed my clothes had disappeared. Opening the door I saw Kane standing at the  door with my clothes in his hand holding his middle finger up.

"Your so fucking annoying! Kane Ratan!!"

I shouted running after him not even caring if the towel wrapped around my waste was holding on for dear life. I chased him down the hall lunging for him but I missed and he escaped immediately running back towards our room. Punching the floor I chased after him again I walked into our room leaving the door ajar looking around for Kane. Suddenly Kane pinned me up against the wall his knee close to my crotch our faces inches from each other. He smelled like fresh cherry wood and summer it was so mind boggling. He leaned closer and without warning smashed his lips onto mine I pushed him away breathing heavily not able to catch my breath.

"Afraid you might still have feelings for him, even after he broke your heart."

He whispered in my ear slowly pressing his lips to my ear biting my lobe then my bringing his head down toward my neck kissing it gently. I felt my entire body tense up my knees felt weak and my mind was going blank. Ryan — Ryan — for some reason he was all I could think about. No — he doesn't feel the same way I wasn't going to let him ruin my heart. If he couldn't accept my feelings and stop playing with my heart then I'd move on even if it's hard for me. Grabbing Kane's shirt pulling him towards me I smashed my lips onto his kissing him roughly running my hands through his short greasy black hair. He wrapped his hands around my waste Kane suddenly picked me up and threw me onto the bed climbing on top of me kissing me passionately. He pulled away pinning me on the bed his face a red hot mess.

"Your mine — I won't hold back anymore your mine!"

He said in aggressively staring down at me. I didn't know what do no matter how hard I was trying to not think about Ryan he was on my mind even when it's got nothing to do with him.

"I'm sorry."

I said looking away staring at the door praying it didn't open realizing that it was ajar and if any of the guys saw this it be talked about for months. Pushing him off of me biting my lower lip simply crawling into the bed burying myself under the covers. Ryan had completely ripped my heart out my chest and Im pathetically thinking of about the taste of Ryan's lips.

"I'm sorry Darren — I really don't know what to do, I know how it feels to be in a relationship that's so one sided. I'm going to ask you — here and now — are you still in love with him?"

Kane asked laying down next to me, I could feel his body next to mine. I just stayed silent pretending not to hear his question, but he must of been able to tell I wasn't sleeping because he sighed loudly and the bed started to shake he was angry with me now. If I could answer honestly I would — unfortunately I don't know —

The next day we had an eight o'clock meeting then Ty, Seb, and Oliver left for a business meeting. It was just Regie, Justin, me, Ryan, and Kane meaning we all had to record a video with just us in it. We all decided that we'd play truth or drink and ask the fans for some deep and hard questions that they wanted answered. We all went into the hot tub bringing the alcohol and phones. Halfway into the video Kane's eyes kept drifting to me.

"So next — bro what are you two doing?"

Justin asked making my heart pound jumping up nervously I moved away from Kane and switched over to where Ryan was sitting. Kane would take this as an answer, but it wasn't I just needed time to think. We recorded for a whole hour and a half before Oliver, Seb, and Manager Ty Returned from the meeting. We all dried off making our way into the house suddenly Ryan grabbed my hand dragging me to the garden. I wanted to run away, but couldn't I didn't want to hear him out I just wanted to pretend as if that kiss and my feelings was one big joke.