As Thunderbolt Strikes the Forest (Solis Occasum Series 2)

Kabanata 16

Kabanata 16

Healed

"Do you have any plans for today?"

Pau just started my usual morning. I wasn't able to recall the day when I invited her to come here, to my dormitory.

"Nothing," Tipid kong sagot.

'Cause I don't know. Goin' outside? Flight to another city again? It's so hard to choose, crap it.

Yes, I'm free and I can get whatever I want to, pero sa dami ng magagawa sa magdadaang oras ay hindi ako makapili. Kapag mayroon namang ginagawa ay tsaka pa doon nadaragdagan ang lahat kahit na hindi kailangan. What a big joke in life.

"Ay sus!" Sumigaw ang kaibigan ko sa kisame. "Si Gwendolyn Llaverde, nawalan ng gagawin! Bago 'yon para sa gaga..."

"Tumahimik ka nga." Saway ko bago tingnan ang itaas. Sino ba ang kinakausap niya d'yan? Mga butiki?

She scratch her head, harsh enough to get a messy hairstyle. Pau gave me a face.

"Ngayon ka pa ba talaga nawalan ng gagawin? O inayawan ang gagawin ayaw na makasama siya?" Nanghihinalang tanong ni Pau.

"Parati ko naman siyang nakakasama, kahit na dati pa." I even cupped my cheek using my palm just to make her believe.

I never deny the reason behind not being a part of the team. Or why can't I join them. It's all due to personal issues and some sorts of things I've experienced before. No one is involved. Other people from my past are basically excluded, they're not affiliated with me anymore.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa pagrehistro ng iba't ibang impormasyon sa utak ko. Well, Macy and Pau knows a lot about it. And as I've said before, I can't deny, tell a lie or even keep a secret to myself.

Sa sarili ko'y hindi ko magawa, sa ibang tao pa kaya?

I purse my lips more as I lean forward to hug myself.

Dinig ang pagbuntong-hininga ng kasama ko. "You know, sometimes it's not bad to let your friends decide with you. You're always present at their get-togethers or a simple party, they've already memorized your flaws. Kilalang-kilala ka na ng mga kaibigan mong 'yon sa loob ng ilang taon. Tho, itinuturing ka nila na kasamahan na sa trabaho. And you can control yourself, huh? Minsan ay kahit niyayaya ka nila ay hindi mo pinauunlakan dahil nahihiya ka. Kapag naman kailangan na kailangan mo ng kasama, kusa kang nagtutungo at pormal na nakikiusap-- girl, kahit hindi ka na makiusap ay isasama ka ng mga 'yon, lalo na't gustong-gusto rin..." Mahabang aniya sabay taas-baba ng kilay. "Kung hindi mo ako ipinakilala sa kanila, e 'di sana ay mag-isa lang din akong bumabyahe abroad, hmp."

If I could only invite all of my colleagues to go with the team, I would love to.

But at least, I know how to travel alone. And I can! Unlike dati na pagtawid lang sa kalsada kasama ang mga kaibigan ay kinatatakutan pa. Hindi ako marunong bumyahe dati dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin, masyado akong nasanay sa hatid-sundo sa paaralan ng kaanak.

I trust myself more than anyone. Natutunan kong pagkatiwalaan ang sarili simula noong nawala ang lahat sa 'kin, sa kontrol... sa tabi ko. I regret everything, by the time I realize that I trusted those people, who hurt me in the end. None of them tried to cope with me up to this day.

But, he's the only and will always be an exemption.

"Puro na lang tayo flight. Hindi kaya dumiretso na tayo sa langit nito?"

Nakangiting napakamot ng ulo si Nasir sa biro niya sa team. I'm still in shock because of the words he chose to use, the accent was incredibly clear and nice. He made Filipino his first language.