Moving In With The Enemy

Chapter 24 ~ "Clean Slate"

I haven't been able to think about anything that happened this weekend. I effectively locked myself in my room all day Sunday to rehearse my project and get it perfect. I intentionally booked the day off work so I could try my best to focus.

I knew I hadn't acted properly towards Walker on Saturday, I was drunk and I'd been through so much that night that I took it all out on him. I wanted more of the other stuff back, I liked talking to him about things and it bothered me that he would act so cool towards me when I knew he was capable of being different.

Then there was this mess with Chase that was just wrecking my brain. What signal had I even given him that would prompt him to kiss me like that? 

I'd had a sleepless night with all of these thoughts and anxieties rolling around in my head. Boys were ruining my life and I wasn't even sure how, before I left home I didn't know one guy who liked me and that was the way I wanted it. I had Walker, Chase and now Dane all complicating my life and on top of it was my thesis presentation.

And I had no choice but to ignore all of them until I could get my schoolwork under control. Even if I really wanted answers or problems solved, there was no way I could handle school and drama at once.

I picked an early presentation on purpose, I just wanted it done and over-with. I pace my room, reviewing my info a few more times and then I start getting ready. 

I did my morning routine, hair, makeup and put on an outfit I'd picked the night before. It was a little anal but it helped me relax if I could control factors in my morning routine before something important. I put on a pair of black tights and a longer black skirt, tucking a white fitted dress shirt into it. I grab my sweater vest from my closet and zip up my black leather boots. 

I wanted to look professional and grown up, someone who could be taken seriously. I find my long overcoat in my closet and load up my laptop, cue cards, USB stick with back-ups, outlines and water bottle into a shoulder bag and then open my door, pausing slightly when I see a sticky note taped to it.

'Good luck today
~ W'

This is from Walker? I thought he was mad at me, we certainly had reasons not to like each other right now and I knew I'd really pissed him off this weekend. This was nice of him, my favourite olive branch he'd ever extended. I put it in my pocket to take it along and walk down the hallway, finding Mark in the kitchen.

"Hey Annie." He says and I nod. "Oh that's right, your big presentation's today."

"Yeah, how do I look?" I ask, truly wanting a second opinion. "Smart?"

"Super smart." He assures me, shooting me a thumbs up. "You're gonna rock it." He smiles, extending his fist for a fist bump.

"Okay, I should get going. I want to be early and all." I shrug and he nods.

"Sure, see you later tonight." He says and I wave, heading out the door.

I couldn't relax, I hadn't eaten because I felt sick and coffee would just make my jitters worse. My heart was in my ears, my mouth was completely dry and I was just anxious. I wouldn't calm down until it was over.

But I needed to trust my research, I'd done the work with my prof and I'd rehearsed everything tons of times. The evolution of sexism due to Western culture practices was something I was invested in, not because I saw myself as a particularly hardcore feminist, but because I found it fascinating. 

For example in many Indigenous communities before settlers arrived in North America, women were in charge. They governed their groups how they saw fit, men lined up to try and win their affection and ultimately it was the woman's choice who she wanted to be with. Divorce was very much an option as was an extended period of dating before marriage. The European approach to life was considered the norm once they began settling in America.