Moving In With The Enemy

Chapter 31 ~ "My Life Is A Mess"

"Give me a call or something before bed, alright?" I hear Dane tell me and I sigh, leaving the phone pressed to my ear.

"I'll try, I'll be up late tonight but I'll send you a text." I shrug.

"Okay, great. Have a good night Annie, I'll see you Friday for our date."

I have regrets, huge regrets and I don't have a clue what to do. Dane has been borderline obsessive since we got back together. He texted and called all the time, he wanted to see me every night and have me come over to his place. 

As if it wasn't bad enough that we'd had such a messy split last week, it was only worsened by the new terms we'd settled on at breakfast the next morning.

The night before, I was initially taken with Dane's effort. That he showed up in an effort to get me back and that he was prepared to let me take some time to think about it. But the next morning when I woke up in his bed, I felt nagged. I felt like I'd really done the wrong thing and I couldn't figure out why.

It was nice to be wanted and Dane had a way of making me feel special, but not in ways that I wanted. He wouldn't send me cute messages to let me know he'd been thinking about me, leave me cute notes or suggest we do easier dates that took pressure off of me. It was a lot to go out with Dane, he turned everything into a spectacle and tried to win my attention through grand gestures with a price tag.

Most girls would be thrilled with that, but I'd known him for over four weeks now and I was getting bored with the fact that he really didn't seem to know me at all. I knew him, I knew he liked craft whiskey, that he drank his coffee black, I knew his routine top to bottom because he was such a creature of habit. Meanwhile, he continued to take me out to fancy restaurants, forget my friends' names, and buy me red roses.

He never wanted to come to my apartment, never. It was putting a massive strain on every relationship in my life. I needed rest and time to get things done, Dane wanted to see me all of the time but wouldn't meet me halfway and just come over. 

I should be happy, I'm in a new relationship and I should be excited. But I had a hard time introducing Dane to anyone as my boyfriend. He felt more like a friend to me and a bad one as the days dragged on.

The worst part about this whole thing was Dane told me that to make our relationship work, he didn't want me to hangout with Walker anymore. There was only so much he could control, we lived together and he couldn't know what was going on every second of every day. But he said he thought Walker was too into me, which I didn't believe for one second.

He got jealous so easily, it was shocking. I did feel like I owed it to my roommates to continue to hangout with them. They were my friends first, but I always kept details about spending time with them out of my conversations with Dane. He'd get fired up pretty fast about things and it was driving me nuts.

I'd considered breaking up with him, I'd considered it a lot recently but the thing stopping me was that I was the one who agreed to starting over. I agreed to stay over with him and I forgave him for that fight without a clear head. This relationship was on me and ending it felt hypocritical. It wasn't a good reason, but it was what held me back. I didn't want to upset him.

But I knew just as well that if I wouldn't dump him, then we'd have to have a conversation because this wasn't working. It was hard on me and I was really missing that supportive-care aspect of our relationship. I told him so many things about me but he just didn't seem to listen, I didn't feel comfortable touching him yet and I knew sooner or later, he'd start asking me questions.

This is too hard for me.

I wasn't built to be in a relationship with someone I don't have deep feelings for. I thought we had things in common and we did, but we were different and those differences were making it hard to sleep at night.