The four elements | Seongjoong

Did our boy live?

San stumbled on the edge, leaning back as he lost his balance. He leaned forward, trying to regain his balance. His foot slipped off the wall, but San put all his weight on his left side, which was towards the floor of the rooftop. Wooyoung breathed a sigh of relief as San fell on the floor. He ran towards him.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Wooyoung yelled.
San looked up at him, his face showing he was still getting a hand on the situation. San tilted his head.
"WHAT DO YOU KEEP DOING UP THERE?!" Wooyoung asked as he pulled San to stand up.
"I-"
"You what?! You think it's cool?! See what just happened?! You could have fell over," Wooyoung looked over the wall, to see the height they were on, "ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING DIE?!"
San spoke nothing for a while, he looked down, "I- I don't know."
Wooyoung looked at him, San had never looked like this. For once, he looked like he was present here, paying attention to his surroundings. But the kind of presence disturbed Wooyoung, it looked as if San was trying to find something here, so desperate for something, something he couldn't find. It was so stressful that it was almost sad.
"What were you doing?!" Wooyoung exclaimed.
San put his hands on the wall beside them, turning over to look at the black skyline, covered with dark trees. The silver of his hair shined faintly in the moonlight. Wooyoung looked at him, leaning on the wall as well. The faraway look was back in San's eyes. Wooyoung didn't know how to feel about it.
"What happened?" Wooyoung asked softly, sensing something was wrong.
"It doesn't matter." San said quietly.
"Well, it does. It matters what happened to you and how you feel about it. I am sorry if people taught you otherwise." Wooyoung told him.
San looked at him, in the eyes.
They sure had met eyes before, but this time, Wooyoung felt something different about it.

"No one has ever said something like that to me." San said, so softly that Wooyoung's ears ached to hear him.
San turned away again, to look at the trees.

Every moment Wooyoung had spent with San, played before him as he heard him say that. How had he not noticed how lonely San was. Since the first day he saw him, he never had a company beside him. Wooyoung remembered how San's eyes twinkled when he gave Wooyoung a letter that came from home. Wooyoung realised how San never received a letter. Wooyoung looked at the boy in front of him, his face blank, oh how it never showed any emotion.

Wooyoung hugged him. "San.." his voice broke as he tried not to cry.
It took time, but San hugged him back. Wooyoung noticed how awkward his hands were.
"No one has ever done this to me." San said again.
That made Wooyoung hold him closer.
"I am sorry." Wooyoung said.
San pulled apart. "You don't have to be."
"Why do you do such things? You are never going up there, okay?" Wooyoung said.
San nodded.
"Why are you always up there, though?" Wooyoung asked.
San shook his head, "I am sorry, Wooyoung, I can't tell you."
"Well, I don't know, but till when are you going to keep it all inside?"
San did not respond, just looked down.
"You can talk about it. Whatever it is." Wooyoung said.
San walked away from him, in slow steps. Wooyoung followed.
"I don't know, Wooyoung." He said, and suddenly turned, to face Wooyoung.
"You won't tell anyone." San said.
"I won't." Wooyoung raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.
San took a deep breathe. "I had a sister. An elder sister."
"And?"
"I have only one memory of her. We are walking on a bridge, she is holding my hand. I was six, she was seventeen. I don't even remember what she was saying, probably something about some constellations."
Wooyoung was listening, and he wasn't expecting the next part.
"She also trained here, and then one year she didn't come back for winter. I remember nothing of it, mom says they got a letter from the camp, saying she had jumped off this tower."
Wooyoung's eyes widened but he made sure to show the concern he felt.
"I don't know why I come here, Wooyoung. Maybe to jump off, or maybe to stop someone else from doing that."
Wooyoung went closer and pulled him in a quick hug once again.
"No!" Wooyoung cried, "You are not going to- not going to do that!"
"I won't." San spoke in his ear.
"I am so sorry for your sister," Wooyoung said, "People have to be the worst creatures!"
"We never got to know why she did that, and I don't know if that's why I come here."
"Whatever! You are never coming here alone now? Okay? Never." Wooyoung said.
"I- I-" San started saying something.
"No, you say nothing! Promise me you're never coming here alone." Wooyoung said.
"I p-promise."
They spoke nothing for a while, Wooyoung sniffled. San did not say anything either.
"Why are you never there?" Wooyoung asked.
"What?" San asked as he pulled away from the hug.
"Remember when I told you? You never look like you're there." Wooyoung said as he brushed the silver hair away from his eyes.
"I- that- that's just-"
"No, I don't like it, what happens to you?"
"I don't know, Wooyoung, I have this little hill in my mind, there's a little house, I live there. It feels like home, Wooyoung." San said.
"You think about it the whole time?" Wooyoung asked.
"I don't know. Home doesn't feel like home. And I don't like it here, no one likes me." San said.
"It isn't that. Why am I here then?"
"You are an exception, of course." San smiled.
Wooyoung smiled sadly.
"It's alright." San assured him.
Wooyoung nodded.
Wooyoung took a deep breath, he looked up at the sky. "You see that?" He pointed.
"What?" San asked and looked up.
"That." Wooyoung said as he made a big 'S' shape in the sky.
"No. What?"
"Gods. That one, this one, make an 'S' shape here." Wooyoung told him.
"Um.." San noised as he trued to connect the stars, "Oh yes! Woah!" He exclaimed when he matched them, "What is it called?"
"Nothing, I haven't named it yet."
"What do you mean?" San giggled.
"I know, that 'S' is there sometimes, sometimes it's not there. But I have been looking at it for years. Everytime I look at the sky, it's never mostly there. But look today, it's the same stars." Wooyoung said.
"Yeah, cool." San said and turned towards him.
"The first time I matched the stars was when I was ten. I had gotten a bad scolding from mom. And being the stupid child I was, I hid on the terrace, doing this all night."
San laughed, making Wooyoung smile.
"This one," Wooyoung spoke, and pointed towards the constellation once again, "This one represents strength."
San tilted his head, "Why?"
"Probably because eleven year old me thought strength was a cool word and it begins with an 's'. Or probably because and 's' is easy to write, and taking it easy is a strength. People who think too much always waste a life, don't they?" Wooyoung said.
"Yeah." San agreed.
Wooyoung turned to him and ruffled his hair, "Then stop thinking about your hills."

A/n: hi~
School sucks i have no friends