Home Is With You

5 • Rock

Jeremy's pov

"Okay guys get into partners. Find your balance with each other. Put you trust into your partner as you find your tree pose. If your having trouble follow your partners breathing." I say the group calmly as I do a tree pose.

I was standing before a group of veterans both young and old. I know alot of people believed it is a sense of duty or obligation to go into the military force. But they didn't think about the after math. The night terrors, grieving lost friends in battle, endless guilt for the lives you took in the name of your home country. 

"Now transition into a downward dog remember to breath. Feel the stress leave from your toes to the ends of your hair." I sigh out. Taking a deep breath I stand up straight. "Alright good job today. Tomorrow we'll have group therapy, no pressure. Let's meet back here at eleven sharp. Have a nice day everyone." I say as I watch everyone start to gather their things.

Feeling someone tap on my shoulder I turn to my friend, Max, who got medically discharged from the service. "Hey Max. How you doing?" I asked him. "Well the doctors say I can get fitted for a more mobile prosthetic. So can you come with me? It's Wednesday at three." He said as he looked at me. "I'll do my best to be there. I may be a bit late if class runs late." I say to him. "Thats alright. I just need some support right now and you've been my rock since my discharge." Max smiled hugging me.

"That's what I'm here for. You need some help getting home." I ask him. "No I have a cab coming to pick me up. See you later Jeremy." Max smiled before walking away with a slight unbalance from the prostetic.

Picking up all the yoga mats I hear someone call my name. "Jeremy! Hun!" Turning around I smile at Georgia  as she walks up to me giving me a big hug.
"Hey Peach." I say hugging her back. Georgia was incredibly sweet lady. I met her almost thirteen years ago she actually helped me start Tobias Aid Clinic. Surprisingly she never held that over my head that I wanted to help people.

"Jeremy I passed by earlier and I saw you had a class so I didn't want to interupt. But I had to run something by you. So this Friday I'm having another charity event. But instead of winning lavish vacation, you get a person for twenty four hours." Georgia said excitedly as she made crazy hand motions.

"Why are you telling me this? You know I'm going to come." I said raising a eyebrow at her. "But I want you to be one of the people to spend twenty four hours with." Georgia said pouting. "I don't know reminds me too much of a slave auction or something." I huff crossing my arms. "Jeremy it's not like that at all. The pick was completely random I drew names out of a hat and everything." Georgia pouted once more.

"First off, you are too old to be pouting, so stop. Secondly, I'll do it on one condition. You have to make me your peach cobbler." I say smirking at her. "Deal. But didn't you mother tell you not to speak on a woman's age." She said. "She also said to not lie to women either. But make that cobbler and I'll be there. Send it to my house like last time." I said as I put the yoga mats in the back of Toyota Tundra.

"Thank you hun. I'll see you Friday at seven." She said before walking off chuckling to myself as I check the time. "Shit I'm going to be late to my appointment. " I say to myself seeing I only have thirty minutes. Quickly  dropping the mats off to the clinics I drive to the other side of town.

****

"Am I late?" I ask the receptionist as I sign myself in. "No Mr. Gorman. You actually have ten minutes to spare. Please take a seat." She smiled at me. Nodding I release a breath before taking a seat taking my dreadlocks down from the bun I had them in. Looking around I feel the heaviness settle in my stomach. My heart started beating erratically, my palms grew clammy with sweat, my leg continuously bouncing.

Clossing my eyes, I try to focus on nothing but steadying my breathing. "Just ten more seconds of this. I can make it." I thought quietly as I took deep breaths through my nose and out my mouth.

"Jeremy. Are you ready?" I hear making me look at my psychiatrist. "Yeah." I say softly as I stand up following him into his office. We were quiet for a while before I cleared my throat.

"So I had class today, it was yoga day today. But lately I've been feeling pressure from it. You and I both know I pour my heart and soul into my clinic helping other veterans. I just feel like they all depend on me to make them.... better. Some parts of me are saying I took on this task so I need to deal with it. But the other parts still need healing myself. And it's not even just my clinic it's my friends too. Max wants me to come to his doctor appointment on Wednesday and someone else wants me to come to a charity event. It's too much." I say pacing in front of my seat.

"Jeremy you take care of all these people. You're helping veterans heal from traumatic experiences. Helping military families grieving. Your supporting you friends in doctors appointments and whatever else it may be. But when are you going to take care of you Jeremy." He asked me making me stop pacing.

"I don't know. The thing is I know I'm loved. I know I'm supported but I can't help but feel alone sometimes." I say sitting down. "Hmm. This month I want you to take a weekend vacation for just you. No calls, no texts, simply you. It might seem hard but if you don't take care of you. You can't take care of everyone else and neglect yourself." He said and I couldn't say anything but nod.