Home Is With You

16 • Mind Reader

Jeremy's pov

Waking up I frown as I see I'm on top of Homer. I remember him coming here to check on me. I go to get off him as I feel my intrusive thoughts rearing their ugly head.

I could feel their hands on my back and on my hair. I felt used, dirty. I didn't feel worthy at all. Getting out of Homer's arms I move away from him. If he knew how broken I was, he wouldn't even look at me. If he knew what happened to me he wouldn't want me at all. If he knew the wounds that my past held he wouldn't kiss me, he wouldn't touch me.

I feel tears threaten to come in my eyes as I attempt to go upstairs. "Jeremy." I hear as Homer tugs on the blanket. My bottom lips trembles as I look at him. "What's going on? I want to help." He said and I balled my fist up.

"Stop lying to me. You don't...you don't want me." I mutter. "Of course I do Remy. You're my boyfriend." Homer say but I shook my head. I had to push him away, I'll be fine. I didn't need him.

"More like fuck buddy." I growl and I seem Homer's eyes harden before he released a breath. "All you want is someone to suck you cock and I'm tired of it. You just want a fuck buddy. What?! Do you think I'm some whore or something." I shout at him glaring at the floor.

Hearing the front door slam shut, I frown as tears stream my cheeks. This for the best. I don't want anyone seeing me so messed up. I don't deserve him anyways. But why do I feel so lonely?

Curling in on myself I sniffle as I throw the pillows on the floor. Covering myself with my blanket, I clench my fist. I didn't mean what I said to Homer.

Hearing my door open I glance to the door seeing Homer setting a bag of food on the table. "Come on Jeremy you have to eat breakfast." Homer said and I hesitantly move to the dining table.

Sitting at the table I watch as he places a coffee in front of me before he placed a plate in front of me. "Can I shower Jeremy?" Homer said and I nodded telling him where the bathroom is. Going back to the breakfast as I hear the shower start. Eating my breakfast quickly not realizing how hungry I am, I sip on my coffee. I sit at the table as I hear Homer shuffle towards the dining table. Watching as he silently eats his food and coffee, not sparing me a glance.

Frowning I sigh softly, "I have GAD. Generalized anxiety disorder and I have PTSD. I'm sorry for my behavior, I didn't mean what I said earlier. I know you're not using me for my body, I'm just traumatized by my past." I confess to him. "Jeremy why didn't you tell me this before?" Homer asked. "It's not exactly first date material." I say nervously.

"When you had the nightmare did anything happen that night? To trigger it?" Homer asks me. "Jerry mentioned it but nothing big happen." I say to him. "Okay are there any triggers or things that I shouldn't do with you?" He asked but I shook my head.

"Most of the things that are my trigger I worked through them with prolonged exposure. I've gotten help, but I guess I'm not totally over it." I said as I fidget with my fingers. "Then why did you blow Georgia, Maverick and I off? We are worried for you." Homer sighed as he sat back in the chair.

"I didn't want to be a bother. You all have your own lives. I don't want you pausing your life to help me." I say glancing at my fingers. "Bullshit. Jeremy we all care for you and support. If you need help that's not us pausing our lives. It's just us supporting you." Homer said as he knelt down in front of me.

Grabbing his hands in mine, I squeeze them as I look at him. "I'm sorry I ran off like that the other day. I was scared. I'll tell you about one day."  I hum softly.  "Thank you. Now I plan to spend the whole day here. So whats the first thing you want to go, I went out and got huge uno cards and some movies." Homer said smiling.

"Let's play uno. We can watch movies later." I said to him as he stands up. Grabbing the cards we move to sit on the couch. Homer shuffled the cards before dealing them out. "Are we okay Homer?" I ask him. "Yes we're good. Just communicate with me. I'm not a mind reader. " Homer says squeezing my knee.

I nod as we start the game.

****

I grip Homer's arm as we watch Candyman. I gasp as I hide my eye behind my hands, peeking through. "Remy, if you're scared we can watch something else. It's no big deal." Homer said. "No. I really do love horror movies. I'm just easily scared." I say as I look at him. "I have never heard of that." Homer chuckled.

Watch the rest of the movie I can't help the slight cringes and jumps as the movie progress. "Homer how come you seem okay with all this? With my anxiety and PTSD?" I asked him.

"Because frankly it would be naive of me to think you don't have skeletons in your closet. Everyone does." Homer sighed as he switched the movies. "Thank you for being understanding." I hum softly leaning my head on his shoulder.