Elle Lex

Chapter 33

Waking up besides my husband for the first time in weeks was bittersweet because we used to be so in love. Nothing could ever break us apart because we were a unit and then he showed me that I never knew who he was. The fact that he could sleep with multiple people without feeling remorse hurts me more than anything.

Juan and I spent the first half hour just cuddling up to eachother without saying a word before our daughter made her presence known. It broke us out of this trance that we were in but rightfully so because things are complicated.

"We're flying back tonight." I tell Chloe as we sit in the bath together with the water up to our chest. "I'm hoping that we will be able to find a good therapist or marriage counsellor."

"Blimmin' heck." Chloe looks at me with wide eyes. "I know that he is this sexy Colombian singer but you still need to remember how dirty he did you. Once you get home, make sure he gets checked for STDs because you don't know if he went raw in a bitch and if he did... divorce the fuck out him and take all his money."

I sigh deeply, "He told me that he always used a condom but I didn't think to get him checked."

"Then Casa de Elle's pussy is closed." I giggle at her choice of words.

"Chloe you have been such a lifesaver and I want to thank you for putting your life on hold for me again. It truly means everything to me to know that I have such a good friend in this place I call home."

"You should have made me Serenity's Godmother." She winks at me and I laugh while nodding my head.

"I don't want to that bitch that tells someone that you're no longer the Godmother but I will officially make you Serenity's second Godmother but in our hearts, you will be the first." Chloe cheers loudly while lifting her foot up in the air and I pull it down to my face before kissing it. "I love you, Chloe."

"I love you too, Ellie Belly." She leans forwards and we share a small peck on the lips. "Who would have thought that we would have made our friendship last this long? I remember petitioning for you to be Geordie Shore and you basically turned us down."

A smile forms on my face, "My life was so fucked up and after dropping out of the X Factor, I wasn't ready to be in the public eye again."

"What's going on with your parents then?" Chloe asks and I shrug my shoulders. "I know your ma's in remission but you haven't said nought about them."

"They fucked off to Australia, we kind of keep in touch but not really." I run my hands through my hair, accidently exposing my left breast. "I'm just at the point in my life where I'm not going to be chasing people anymore, if you want to be in my life then show me."

"All is say is fuck 'em." She tells me while grabbing one of the sponges that she raves about on snapchat. "Time to get some free promo, baby."

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Elle: Besides my daughter, this is my favorite person in the world.

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Our flight back to LA is in an hours time and the staff kindly put us in the VIP lounge area so we could have some privacy. This is my first time in the lounge area at the airport and I am pretty impressed since they have a food section so we can grab a bite.

"Serenity Aldene Arias." I kiss my daughter's nose before kissing her lips. "You are the most beautiful girl in the world."

I smile widely as my daughter pulls me back in for another kiss.

"Mummy loves you so much." I tell her and she smiles while touching my face. "You mean everything to me and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

"Mummy." She repeats and I laugh a little. "MUMMY!"

"Yes." I wipe my stray tear away. "I'm your mummy, so let's forget the word mommy."

Juan chuckles in the background, I look to see him filming us on his phone and I stick my tongue out at him. Serenity buries her face in my neck and I give her a nice squeeze while rubbing her back.

"You're so lucky that she's this young." I look at Juan who lowers his phone. "I hope she never finds out how much you hurt me but it's all on the internet thanks to you."

"Elle." Juan sighs in frustration. "I told you that they would have said something first which is why I wanted to do it first."

"That's not what I mean." I kiss my daughter's neck. "Thanks to you is because you made this happen, you didn't have to go to Miami but you did. You didn't have to even entertain the idea of another woman but you did and you certainly did not have to sleep with somebody else but you did. You did it."

He says nothing as he stares at me silently and I adjust our daughter before putting some kids show on for her to watch.

"I don't know why I wasn't good enough for you, maybe it's because I became boring after having our daughter but life changes. We knew that our lives would never be the same once we settled down with our family but we did it and we did it so well." I try not to cry. "I was the happiest than I had ever been in my life and I owed a lot of my happiness to you because you helped me get there. You gave me a family, a home and you helped me experience love in many forms."

"Elle." Juan gets down on his knees before me. "I'm sorry."

"I know but we can't keep having this same conversation." I look into his eyes. "I think it's best that we separate for a bit and figure out if what we have is worth saving."

Juan's eyes widen in surprise.

"I want to be with you but I also need to have love and respect for myself." I close my eyes as I feel a tear roll down my face. "I need to learn how to be alone and I think that us being apart will help me do that. That doesn't mean that I am signing the papers or stopping you from seeing our girl but there is no us for the time being."

"How long?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know but if you want this, like really want this then you'll fight for me."