"That's a wrap!" Everyone cheers and I pull my husband in for a very loving kiss. We just wrapped up the shooting of the music video to my song, Say So which I am hoping to release in the next few weeks.
The music video shoot ended up going really well. Since I knew that Serenity would be awake, we decided to start shooting around 5 am. As opposed to it being a whole day shoot, we ended up wrapping up around 12 pm which was perfect. I didn't think that it would work out but Serenity fell asleep during my solo shots.
Nia was amazing as always but around 10 am she had to leave for work which was fine because she did a great job of keeping Serenity occupied and happy.
Now that we are finished, we are heading to Kandice Kardashian's home for a mini pool party that she is holding. We haven't seen eachother in a while so I'm really happy to see her because she is practically a sister to me.
As Juan drives, I start looking through the bag that he packed since I had to pack up my clothing for the shoot.
"No fucking way." I look down at the bikini and back at Juan who barely glances at me. "Juan, what the hell?"
"What?" He looks at me confused before turning back to the road.
"Why did you pack me a bikini?" I hold up the pieces with a sigh. I have not worn a bikini since I was like six months pregnant, I definitely do not feel that comfortable in my body enough to wear a bikini.
"You told me to pack you anything so I packed you anything."
I purse my lips at him.
I haven't worn this bikini before but it was gifted to me from Palomino Swim. It is very gorgeous but I don't know why Juan chose a bikini instead of a swimsuit. I know that he didn't do this deliberately so I'll try not to complain.
"I'm going to wear a bikini again." I cringe.
"Don't worry, you are going to look great." He gives me a quick glance. "You need to give yourself more credit, your body has snapped back and your body looks great."
I bite down on my bottom lip as I look at the bikini, trying to think about what I should do. I will be completely honest, I have been avoiding anything that shows off my stomach. My body did snap back not long after having Serenity but it just feels weird because I know how big it grew to be.
I am a lot curvier than before and it has taken some time to adjust to it all. Since the weather was practically shit in England, I was always wearing jumpers and tracksuits. I didn't have to think about wearing a crop top or a bodysuit because the weather wasn't the nicest. Plus we didn't really get to meet our neighbours so I didn't have to dress to impress.
"Ok." I say to myself. "I'll wear it."
"I'm proud of you." Juan tells me as he gives my thigh a squeeze. "At the end of the day, just remember that your body created and birthed our daughter. You should never feel ashamed of how your body looks when you did one of the greatest things in the world."
"I love you." I say to my husband as I blink back tears.
"I love you."
---
"Kandice you look so freakin' amazing." Kandice squeals as she takes another look at my body. "If only I looked like this after I had Cristian."
I laugh a little before changing the subject. After my talk with Juan, I definitely do feel a lot better about my body but I don't want the conversation to be about it.
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Juan and I go around greeting the whole Kardashian/Jenner clan while showing off our little Serenity who has won all of their hearts. They haven't been able to see her as much as they would like due to us staying in England but it's nice to see them all making an effort to build a bond with my daughter.
With everything that they do for me, it's hard to remember that they aren't my biological family. If I could be born again then this is the family that I would want to be born into.
After a couple of hours of playing around, I decide to take a nap with my daughter because why not. We never got to rest after my video shoot since we came straight here so if my daughter takes a nap, I will too.
"Elle." I blink a few times as I look up to see Kandice standing over me with a sleeping Cristian in her arms. "Do you mind if I join you?"
"Come on." I carefully shift to the side and Kandice lays down besides us. Thank God for these outdoor beds, these Kardashians really go all out. "How are you dealing with the divorce?"
I feel bad for bringing up her divorce but I haven't been here to hear all about it. It felt wrong to bring it up over facetime so here I am, ruining the mood.
"I never thought that I would ever get divorced." She gives me a sad smile. "I look at you and Juan... and I can't help but feel slightly jealous because that man loves every single part of you. Jose didn't love all of me, he wasn't willing to accept me for better or for worse."
"I'm sorry Kandie." I kiss her shoulder. "I'm really shocked that he did that to you especially since he chased you."
"It's fine." She kisses my shoulder back which makes me smile. "My first priority is our son. I also have to make sure that I'm doing ok, Jose chose his life and I can chose mine."
"And you look beautiful doing it." I whisper and she gives my thigh a squeeze as she adjusts Cristian. "You're going to do amazing and I can't wait for your album. I will always be done to record some vocals with you if like."
"I appreciate you."
We relax on the bed for a few minutes before our ears perk up at the sound of a guitar. I sit up on the bed, making sure that Serenity is resting in a good position before looking up at Juan who is strumming the strings of the guitars. I can't help but blush as he looks at me.
Everyone is crowding around him, the girls are obviously recording him on their phones and the sun is starting to go down. It is the perfect scenery with the most amazing people.
Thanks for the times that you've given me The memories are all in mind And now that we've come To the end of our rainbow There's something I must say out loud!
Kandice places her hand on my thigh in a comforting manner as I feel the tears beginning to surface.
Your once, twice Three times a lady And I love you Yes, your once, twice Three times a lady And I love you!
I close my eyes for a moment as Juan's voice hits me deep. This man makes me feel so special, as if I am the most beautiful woman in the world even more so now that we have a daughter who craves his attention. He never neglects me, he only just makes me feel loved.
When we are together The moments I cherish With every beat of my heart To touch you, to hold you To feel you, to need you There's nothing to keep us apart You're once, twice Three times a lady And I love you! I love you !
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