Whiskey & Vows

N I N E T E E N

C H A P T E R  N I N E T E E N ||  THE FEAR OF FALLING APART

            It's been a solid month since our marriage, and surprisingly, things were looking up. After our fight, Derek and his father started attending therapy. It was a difficult decision for the both of them, knowing that they both needed help, and knew that they both could lose something if they didn't try. Although he didn't admit it much, the therapy did help him face his mother's death. Despite it almost being three years, Derek never got the proper closure and support he needed when he needed it the most. He and his father are both learning to let go of their anger and learn to depend on each other.

            My relationship with Derek has changed significantly. Once we took the annulment out of the pictures, we focused on ourselves. It was a difficult decision to make; I didn't want to depend on our marriage to keep us together and happy, but I also knew that if we went through with it, we would lose Andy and the foundation we started our relationship on. Derek and I promised each other that we would start being completely honest and open with each other. Whatever doubts and other thoughts we had, we threw those out the window and decided to start fresh. In our eyes, we were bound together for a reason and surprisingly, we balanced each other out. Now that we had Andy, it made it a little harder to focus on just our relationship, but we promised to find at least one night a week we went out on a "date" night.

            I learned more about Derek than I ever thought I possibly would. His therapist noted his depression on the first session and highly recommended Derek to start taking antidepressants. Derek, however, was highly against it. He told me after his mother died, he had been on those and didn't like them, most times, he felt numb. I supported him in any decision he made regarding his depression, but I told him if he wanted to stay off medicine, he needed to communicate and talk to me always. I respected his decisions he made about his health, but I wanted to make sure he stayed healthy.

            Andy has improved significantly since living with us. Once Derek got the chance, he had Andy properly diagnosed and given the right accommodations. Andy had a busy schedule with physical and speech therapy, but he seemed to be doing better. Andy even seemed motivated to practice his own writing and play learning games on Derek's iPad, surprising us both. Basically, we were becoming an All American family-kind of. It was a start and somehow, we were making it work.

            Derek started up the grill as Andy floated around in the pool. I relaxed on a chair, soaking up the sun and enjoying the lack of braces on my body. Derek had the radio playing in the background as Andy and I stayed lazy and enjoyed the warm summer air. We spent the afternoon in the sun, enjoying the pool and laughing as Derek took pictures on his camera. I never asked him what he did with him; I just enjoyed the fact that he still loved taking pictures.

            Their back yard was beautiful; it resembled his mansion as he lived in. The backyard had a women's touch with the comfort of a giant yard area besides the pool. The grill sat on the patio, close to the pool but also giving it it's own space. His house looked something out of HGTV or Hollywood, making it impossible for me to want to leave.

            "Somehow it doesn't surprise me how much of a princess you are," Derek chuckled, eyeing me up. I felt bashful as I sat in my tankini, knowing he's probably been with hotter girls who didn't cover up their body. He didn't seem to mind as he happily laid eyes on my chest and finally looked back at me.

            "It's too warm to care," I sighed, closing my eyes again. Derek grinned and looked at the sun.  He had a nice cold beer in his hand as he grinned at Andy and I.