Whiskey & Vows

T W E N T Y T H R E E

T W E N T Y T H R E E || YOU'RE ONE OF MY KIND

Derek was nervous.

We agreed that today would be the day we would finally visit his mother, and he's been struggling through the morning. He insisted on me meeting her, while he would finally get the chance to see her after three years. He dressed fairly nice, for which I didn't know, but I decided to follow his lead. This mattered more to him than I expected, so I would follow his lead. We didn't speak as we got ready, both of our minds reeling with thoughts of what's to come.

I've never visited someone's grave, so I didn't know the protocol for this type of thing.

Do I talk to the stone?

Do I let Derek do the talking?

What if he can't get inside?

I tried not to think of all the negative things that could happen with this visit, but it was too difficult. I knew Derek wanted to see his mother, something he's been working on for quite a while, but I couldn't help but grow nervous. Once he finally saw her there was a good chance that he could slip back into his previous ways. I talked to my mom about it, but she said we can only do our best.

I didn't like that.

I wore a dress. I knew it was probably overkill but it was humid outside and I didn't feel like putting on pants. Derek didn't seem to mind as he silently floated throughout our bedroom to finish getting ready. He wore a pair of khaki shorts and an expensive looking short sleeve collared shirt.

"Ready?" I asked, fixing my hair for the hundredth time. He plastered a smile on his face and nodded slowly. Fear slipped in his eyes before he quickly masked it.

"Ready."

*** *** ***

I turned off the ignition but we didn't dare move. Derek didn't even bother to look out his window to see the large metal gates of the cemetery. Sucking in a sharp breath, I looked at him carefully. The confident asshole I knew vanished and instead sat a hurt boy who lost his mother. I wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be all right; but we both knew that would be a lie. I couldn't protect him from the pain of his mother, but I could help him get through it. Taking a deep breath, I pushed out my nervousness and grabbed his hand.

"It's time." Nodding, he looked at me with fearful eyes and slowly looked out his window. His body froze at the sight of the various tombstones and flowers. He rubbed his hands on his khaki shorts and looked back at me.

"I'm right here." I told him. Nodding, he slowly opened his door and got out. I numbly followed behind him. I wanted to ask him where her stone was, but I couldn't manage to ask the question. I honestly didn't know if he would remember and the slight thought of getting lost in a graveyard frightened me. I wrapped my arm around his and together we walked inside the cemetery.

"I haven't been here since she's been buried." He whispered, his body trembling as we took steps closer in the direction of her stone.

"Do you remember-"

"I couldn't forget it." He swallowed, interrupting me. Biting my tongue, I followed him toward her grave. We didn't say much as we walked toward her plot. I could feel him trembling as we made it to her grave. I felt the life suck out of me as I looked at the large stone. It was a large, beautiful stone with a spot to put flowers. Kneeling down, I carefully placed the flowers Derek brought for her.