Whiskey & Vows

F I F T E E N

C H A P T E R   F I F T E E N || TELL ME YOU’VE GOT ME AND YOU’RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE

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            I chewed my bottom lip anxiously as I sat in front of Derek. He tugged nervously at his bottom lip, looking at the fireplace. It’s been two days since his confession and I needed to figure out what to do about us. I couldn’t deny the attraction and feelings I had for Derek, but I didn’t know how strong they were. Derek hasn’t mentioned anything since that night and I wanted to know if he was serious or not. I couldn’t get my heart set for something that might not happen.

            Derek looked vulnerable and nervous as he sat across from me on the bed. Tonight I cornered him and forced him to figure out what he wants, leaving us sitting here awkwardly. We’ve had a lot of shit thrown our way but I couldn’t let ourselves get worse. Derek has his own issues aside and for once, I think he actually is happy; I just didn’t know why.  Things between us were getting better, and if we got together, I didn’t know how it would end up. I did want to try; I couldn’t pretend I’m not curious.

            “What do you want?” I asked him once again. Derek carefully looked over at me and turned pink.

            “I told you.” My heart raced at his answer, causing my own cheeks to burn.

            “What do you want to happen?” I clarified. Derek looked down at his hands nervously and finally back at me. Fear filled his eyes but he smiled anyway.

            “I want to try it.” He said boldly.

            “Try what?”

            “A relationship? The marriage? I don’t know; we didn’t do things in order.” He shrugged. I had no problem admitting that I wanted the same thing, but I wanted to know if he was serious. I had a hard time letting someone in and I figured he knew that by now. It must be why he’s so shy, unless he’s never been serious with a girl.

            “Why do you want to?” Derek sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

            “Jesus, Anna, what do you want?” He groaned. “I like you, okay?” A smile etched its way on my face and I looked down at my broken hand.

            “You do?”

            “Yes, and I don’t know how, but I know that I haven’t felt this way and I want to try it out.” He grunted. A grin plastered my face as I stared at him. Derek inched away from me and looked at me with confused eyes.

            “What?”

            “I just wanted to know if it was real.” He blinked at me in confusion and widened his eyes when he realized what I meant.

            “I’m not Johnny; I would never do that to you. Besides, you put me in my place and its hot.” He shrugged.

            “Let’s do it.” I grinned, my heart beating a mile a minute in my chest. Derek looked at me with wide eyes and sputtered nervously.

            “If you don’t-“

            “I do, but it’s going to be new for me too. I’m not used to this stuff, so I’ll probably be stupid.”

            “I’ve never been in a serious relationship before.” Derek shrugged indifferently.

            “Really?”