Whiskey & Vows

T W E N T Y F O U R

T W E N T Y F O U R || I THINK WE'LL BE OKAY

"I love it when you wear my old shirts." Derek gasped, grinding his body on top of mine. He pulled it off me without any hassle, leaving me in my lacy bra. He ogled over my chest and looked back at me, smirking as he fondled me.

"They're snug on me." I stated. It was true; despite whatever shit we have gotten over, I was still fat. Derek said he didn't mind, but I did. Sure, I wasn't overly large or a health risk, but it was hard when Derek dated girls who looked like they walked the runway.

"I don't care." He panted, kissing down my jawline.

"Derek-"

"Anna, I am attracted to you. Stop it." He said, flicking my nose. Grimacing, I looked at him nervously.

"Seriously-"

"Anna, shut up." He groaned as he rolled off me. Grimacing, I knew I killed the mood and Derek would be a pain in the ass later.

"Derek, I'm serious."

"So am I. I don't care what you think; I like you the way you are. You could lose weight if you wanted to." He shrugged.

"Whatever you're happy with, Anna. I'm not ashamed of you. Only when you left the house in mismatched Crocs." He grimaced. When I just stared at him, he groaned again.

"Anna, stop being too hard on yourself. Everyone's body is different. You've got a giant rack and that's something to be proud of."

"Fucker." I huffed.

"You don't need to change yourself to be with me." He sighed, pushing my lovely hair out of my face.

"I can if you need me to." I mumbled. Dropping his jaw, Derek grew furious.

"What the hell is the matter with you? I think you're beautiful, alright? I don't want you to become stick thin and I sure as hell don't want you to become the size of Africa either. Be you, understand?"

"Okay." I mumbled quietly.

"If it is that big of a deal for you, I can be a gym buddy." He offered. "Now, let me grope you."

*** *** ***

Derek and I fooled around like we were high school sweethearts. We still have yet to break that boundary and have sex, but I didn't mind. It was more important for him to wait for that step and I was all right with it. Considering on how we ended up together, I couldn't agree more.

Sometimes it was hard to wrap my head around my situation. Derek was completely different than I assumed he was. I knew the asshole in college who teased me and made me feel like shit, while the one I'm married to makes me feel beautiful.

I don't understand it.

We're starting a life together, I guess, and sometimes I wonder if he's going to get sick of me and leave, just like my father did. I knew it was a ridiculous thought; Derek was nothing like my father, but it was hard to forget how we came about.

I grabbed lunch with my mom, sitting at a small café downtown, wondering how I could make it through my...situation.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" I asked as I took a bite of my sandwich. My mother looked at me curiously and narrowed her eyes at me.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know I had a mistake and everything, but do you think I'm being stupid?" I asked.

"Where is this coming from?" She gasped. "Did you two get in a fight? Things were going so well!"

"We didn't get in a fight." I groaned. "I just...what if I'm living in my own world, and it's not as great as I thought it would be?" My mother dabbed her lips with her napkin and looked at me carefully.