CODE'S ADDICTION

Chapter 4

Trissalia Pearl

I once had rabbits.

It was a gift from a neighbor when I turned 8 and was the first pets I had. I could even remember that my parents had an argument whether I should take care of them or not but my mom insisted that since it was a gift I must take care of it and so, it happened. The rabbits were couple, hindi raw kasi magandang magsama ang magkapatid o magkapamilya kasi mamamatay ang isa. I was quite fascinated on how furry they were, the giddy feeling whenever my hand carresses their small frame. I liked it. So, I named the girl, Fluffy and the boy rabbit, Alfy.

At first, I was eager to feed them everyday that I even bought a book on how to take care of rabbit and my mom even helped find a vet for them. Day by day, my fascination to these cute animals grew that I formed an attachment with them. Gusto ko kapag tumatayo sila at tila inaabangan ako sa tuwing dadaan ako sa may kulungan nila. Gusto ko rin kapag hinahayaan nila akong haplusin ang katawan nila na parang tuwang-tuwa sila. Gustong-gusto kong gawin ang mga bagay na 'yun dahil kahit papaano alam ko sa sarili ko na sa wakas ay may nagagawa rin akong gusto ko. I loved the idea that humans can also create attachment to animals. And everytime we're near to each other, I feel the contentment, relaxation I always look for.

More to say, rabbits were my first and last best friends.

But fate is cruel to those who only seek happiness. One day, after I came home from a very exhausting day, I found my rabbits dead on thier cage. I wasn't able to move a bit. I was silently agonizing. Ang sabi ng vet, may mali raw sa daily routine na ginawa ko kaya sila namatay but my mind thinks otherwise. However, I kept my mouth shut dahil sino ba namang maniniwala sa batang katulad ko na naniniwalang maayos ko silang inaalagaan pero may taong sinadyang lasunin sila. Of course, no one would believe in that. And up until now, I hate it when I remember the excruciating pain I had to endure because I could not cry in front of my family.

Those moments that I remember how I took care of them, how I loved them but end up losing them because I was gone. Sandali lang akong tumalikod pero ang lahat ng pagsisikap ko para alagaan sila ay naglahong parang bula. And that made me question my self, is my love and care not enough? Was the attachment I bind to them was wrong that God took them away from me?

Because if yes, then I will never let my self be attached, again, so that I will no longer feel pain.

"You're spacing out." My eyes shifted when Code, whose hugging me closely to him, spoke.

"Code..." His name is like him, so mystifying like the every code used to hide something.

"Good morning, baby doll." Nakangiti ang mukhang pagbati niya sa akin.

Baby doll? Cringe. Last time he keeps on calling me doll ngayon naman may baby baka bukas chuckie doll na.

"My body hurts like hell, Code. Do you feel the same?"

Honestly, we've been locked up here in this room for around two days. Our first time was hurt the most and then after we slipped a day, hindi niya pa rin ako tinigilan. Sex with him was great but I hate the aftermath. He's big that every time he enters me, it feels like the first time.

He bit his lower lip to prevent from laughing. "Not really, doll. I feel great right now, actually."

Napairap ako. Nawa'y lahat. Now, it made realized na wala talagang equality sa mundo, for instance, ako lang ang mas nakakaramdam ng matinding sakit kahit hindi lang naman ako ang mag-isang kumilos kagabi. Anyway, what time did this guy let me sleep? I think we reach the time before sunrise. Damn, he's insatiable.