I didn't post one yesterday because 420 jokes killed me.
I died.
This journal is pretty private to me. I only tell my friends about this if I really care about them and trust them.
That said, only a few of my friends know about this and know that it's me.
Wife, Hannibal, Mike, Alex, and now Rj.
I'm really glad I could bring myself to let him see this. It's got a lot of my emotions and feelings, some that I don't understand.
I woke up in a pretty cranky mood, but I got a message and my entire day was made in the first 3 minutes of being awake.
"You're beautiful and perfect, again I woke up this morning wondering how I have such a perfect girlfriend. Kiley, you're my idea of perfect. I never want to lose you, I love you so much. I'm sorry I fell asleep beautiful, I have testing today. AKA, I'm going to be thinking about you every minute. I want to hold you, and kiss you. I hope you have a good day today, you deserve nothing less than to be happy. You do everything for me. I'm so grateful for you. I want you, and only you. Have fun with your dress today. God, I love you so fucking much <3"
I responded with my own paragraph, and got on with getting ready.
He's made my day already.
I'm doing a little project for him. I don't know if I should put it in here, since he might see it, but, I'm doing a project cx
I had a dream about us last night. It was really sweet and that's why I woke up cranky, because it was going away.
It was June. Rj was coming the first two weeks of July. I hadn't heard from him all day, and I was sitting outside. My phone rang, and the skype screen with his face on it popped up. I scrambled to get it, and answered, breathless.
"Hello?"
"Hey baby."
"Hey Rj"
"How's your day been?"
"Pretty good, even better now. How about you?"
"Not so great."
"What's wrong babe?"
"I'm not going to be able to come in July. My mom won't let me."
My heart sunk, and my entire mood dropped.
"Oh..okay.."
"I'm sorry baby. I've go to go, too. Love you."
"Love you too.."
He hung up, and I sat there for a moment. I picked up my stuff and went inside and into my room, and laid down. A few hours passed, and my mom got home. I went out to say hello, and sat on the stairs.
"Hey mom."
"Hey Ky, what's up?"
"Rj isn't coming."
"He's not?"
"No."
Before we could get any further, the doorbell rang. My mom opened the door, and I leaned over to see who it was. My friend Onyx stood there.
"Hey Kiley. You've helped me out as much as you possibly could. This is for you."
She stepped to the side. Behind her stood my best friend Gianna.
"You've helped me with everything from relationships to depression. You're my best friend and you'd do anything for me. I'd do anything for you. This is for you."
She stepped to the side, and there stood Hannibal.
"You probably hate me, and that's okay. I don't hate you. You've done everything for me and it may seem like I'm not grateful but I am. This is for you."
I was really confused, and during their talking, I had been sliding down the steps. I stood at the bottom of the stairs, head tilted to the side, confused as to how, and why, they were all here.
Hannibal stepped to the side, and it took me two seconds to realize who was standing behind him before I took off running into their arms. I wrapped my arms around their waist and buried my head into their chest, feeling their arms wrap tightly around me. I hugged tightly, and we swayed side to side.
I could hear voices behind me, talking to each other.
"I think she was surprised."
"Thanks for picking us up from the airport."
"No problem."
The arms around me loosened, and I pulled back a little bit, but not letting go. I looked up at their face. It was covered in a smile.
"You ruined my plan." he said, laughing a little bit.
I frowned slightly, "How?"
"I was supposed to kiss you."
A grin spread across my face, and I stood on my tiptoes and placed a kiss on his lips.
"There is it."
It was a very good dream.
I love him, a lot.
He's a lot of my firsts, and he was the first I've dreamed about.
I'm so happy.
