It's been a while, huh?
I'm 21 now. I'll be 22 soon.
I never thought I'd make it this far. It's a strange emotion.
I've been in the hospital twice. The most recent was the beginning of this year. I had to attend daily therapy, for 8 hours a day for almost two months. I met some wonderful people there.
They helped me get on my feet.
I started cosmetology school! It's been a wild experience.
This entire year has been.
You will never believe what else I did.
I finally met Blake, and Juju, and Heather, and Julia. I flew to Florida, alone, and I met them. I miss them so much. I can't wait to move down there with them. I felt so alive there.
Gianna and I aren't friends anymore. I miss her, but I know this is what's best. She and I are two separate people, and we don't get along anymore. I just realized that I was begging her to be in my life when she really didn't want to be. We aren't kids anymore. I need someone that's going to actually be there for me, I have enough fair-weather friends. I think when we met, we both needed that support that an online friend could offer, but I need a real friend.
I know I posted the last update in 2020, even though I wrote it in 2018, but Dori did pass. I think about her almost every day. I found a cat, though, and I love her dearly. She gives me this look that Dori used to give me and I feel loved. Her name is Ziggy. She's all white, with green eyes. Can you imagine her?
I was diagnosed with BPD too. I'm trying to work on it. It's rough. The more I learn about it, the more I realize how toxic I really am to people. I don't want to be.
I guess that's all for now.
See you soon.
