mercury || luke hemmings

letter twenty five.

dear diary,

not everything is supposed to become beautiful and long-lasting.

sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to talk to at night and spill your entire life to.

not everyone is going to stay forever, but we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they have given us.

luke taught me that things do get better, recovery is possible, and that there is beauty in everything. i will always thank him for that.

i'm not entirely sad anymore. of course, the occasional bursts of memories come back and it hurts but it's never a constant state of sadness.

i'm preparing for college. i've toured my campus and set my schedule. it feels weird being an adult. i still ask my mom to do my laundry.

i haven't heard much about how luke's doing. i hope he's okay. i hope he knows i'm okay. i don't want him to worry about me.

i've gotten a job at the local diner. it's just the place all the old guys come to eat their breakfast in the morning but i like it. i secretely hope luke comes in there one day. and i'll serve him coffee with only 1 sugar because i know that's how he likes it. and we'll talk.

i met a girl. she's really nice. her name is monica, and she's one of those girls who wears sundresses and glittery lipgloss to match her shoes. i thought she was just a stuck up snob who thought she was better than everyone, but she's just like the rest of us. just a normal human being with normal human being problems.

my therapist has prescribed four little blue pills for me to take every morning. i started them last week, and i haven't felt much of a change. i just really hope they work. i want to be happy and i want to be able to wear sundresses and glittery lipgloss to match my shoes.

i want to be happy.

love,

mercury