Restoration

Chapter 07

There's something great about getting up early for church. There is something even greater when God is doing His part.
I curled my hair and got dressed in a nice summer dress. I feel different, I am different.
"Where are you going?" Andrea asks standing at my door. I turn to her and inhale deeply. "You look beautiful, mom."
"I'm going to church and thank you," I reply and inhale deeply with a soft look in my eyes just to comfort her. She nods her head slowly looking around and then back at me. "Afterwards, I quickly want to go to the tyle shop and see what they have. I'm desperate in making over the place in the backyard."
"Can I come with you?" she asks. I nod my head happily. She turns around and runs out to go get ready. She's excited and that's something I barely had the chance to have from her.
"Thank you, Jesus," I breathe and grab my perfume to spray myself a little. So, I won't make it for pre-prayer, but for a good cause. My daughter is coming with me! Steven enters the room and runs around to his bedside to get his phone. His eyes meet mine and he stands up straight.
"Where are you going?" I ask him since he seems so impatient and in a rush.
"Uhhh...meeting," he replies.
"On a Sunday?" I ask confused. He keeps quiet. Well, work does that to you, doesn't it? It keeps you occupied. When you're too busy with it you'll become so business-minded that your freedom suffers under it. "Okay, well Andrea and I are going..."
"I'm ready," Andrea says rushing into my room wearing a long grey dress. She's such a beautiful girl and I can tell she's been waiting for an opportunity to wear this dress.
"That was fast," I laugh and grab my hairbrush going to her. She turns her back on me so I can brush out her hair. "Should we ask Sean to join us as well?"
"He's not here," Steven says and walks out of the room. I grab a pin from my dresser and put both sides of her hair together behind her head.
"Thanks," Andrea thanks me and turn around. I touch her cheek softly and inhale deeply. Damn, I owe this girl a huge explanation. She's a flightless little bird that was never taught how to use her wings.
"Andrea, I'm very sorry for the type of mother that I was. I had no excuses and I hope you'll forgive me," I say to her. She nods her head slowly and looks down. "Are you okay?"
"Great," she nods and puts her hands behind her back. "Shall we go?"

Seeing Andrea's face when we walked into the building must've been the best thing I've seen. The last time I saw her so surprised and caught off guard was the first time she saw the ocean.
The band kicked off with an upbeat song by Hillsong and maybe one of their own songs. For Praise, they sang a song by Lauren Daigle and another song which I don't know. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of these songs and discovering Christian artists. It's like God took my life and gave me a complete reset. A button unreachable has been pressed on my soul that gives my whole body a new purpose.
"The bible says that if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation! It means the old you is dead. The spirit of addiction, narcissism, and racism is broken, you just need to accept that," the pastor spoke. Everyone clapped their hands and went quiet again when the music that played with the pastor slowed down. I like how everything builds up in the music when people come in agreement with what the pastor says. Ha, guess it makes the devil nervous.
By the time the pastor did the altar call, I held so tight to my daughter's hand remembering how nervous I was giving my life to Christ. Come on angel, Jesus wants you. I want to tell her that so badly, but I would like her to decide on her own. Feeling pressurized to do something leaves you not wanting to do that anymore.
"Everyone closing their eyes, no one moving. Come on, if you feel like you need a restart, now is the time. You've been surviving for too long, it's time you live now, but live right. If want a new start with Christ, we just want to lead you into a prayer we all prayed. Please, boldly and unashamedly, raise your hands all over this place," I hear the pastor's voice. Will she put her hand up if I put mine up for a second time? No, this is for her to decide. This is no monkey see, monkey do. "Thank you for those hands. One last time. You don't know when you'll die, but if you were to die, do you know where you would spend your eternity? Heaven and hell are real. You might not have this opportunity again. Slip up your hands all over this place."
I feel Andrea fiddling next to me. She folds her one arm around my arm.
"Everyone look at me."
I look up at the stage at the pastor. My heart is beating incredibly fast. Did my daughter choose Jesus?
"I want everyone that raised their hands to take their personal belongings and come to the front, please. It's nothing weird, we just want to pray for you," the pastor says. The band starts to play a song again encouraging everyone to go to the front. I look at Andrea that looks worried at me.
"Will you come with me?" she asks softly. My heart jumps with joy. My baby gave her life to Jesus! She is saved. I nod my head happily and grab my handbag. This is a different feeling from seeing your child ride their first bike or taking their first step. This is such a powerful moment. My daughter is walking in victory! Her giving her life to Jesus is probably one of the best things that I could ever witness so far.

"Congratulations, Andrea!" Natasha cheers on and grabs my daughter around the body hugging her. Andrea giggles awkwardly and look at me when they've let go.
"Where's Craig?" I ask Natasha.
"No, he's got some excuse again, but I will get him," she says and folds her arms. "How's Steven and Sean?"
"I wish I knew," I sigh and rest my arm around Andrea's shoulder. "There's still some forgiving that has to be done."
"Have you forgiven yourself?" Tammy asks behind me. I shake and turn around greeting her with a hug.
"Hi," I giggle and show her to Andrea. "This is my daughter, Andrea."
"Hi," Tammy greet her with a hug. "How are you?"
"Good thanks," she replies shyly and put her hands tight in front of her.
"You'll fit in just right with the youth," Tammy says to her and look at me. "Will you send me her number and I can send it to the youth leader?"
"Sure," I nod my head slowly and look at Andrea. Her eyes are round, no smile on her lips and she looks uncomfortable. Perhaps one of the things I missed out on teaching her is how to blend in with kids her age. It's very different telling a teenager how to blend in with her age group than telling a five-year-old to go play with the other young ones especially when they've got different personalities. "We'll talk at home, okay?"
"Okay," Andrea nods and looks down. Is it my fault my daughter is shy? Is it because of me that she might be feeling insecure and in need of comfort and protection? When there's trouble or discomfort, a child looks at its mother or father. When she looked for me, I was lost and didn't even know myself. Where was I all this time?