Restoration

Chapter 14

Well, so this is it. Steven has made up his mind. I raise an eyebrow at Steven and laugh sarcastically looking away. So, my marriage is over. God, is this what You have in store for me?
"What?" Steven asks unhappily. I shake my head and look out the kitchen window. He stays away from home and only came back for the divorce. "I'll still pay you, Eleanor. Our kids will see both of us whenever they want and...we'll see each other at church."
My eyes grow round on him. He smiles relieved and shrugs his shoulders.
"I gave my life to Jesus," he finally says. I grab my mouth surprised and stand up straight.
"Oh I'm so proud of you," I say and look over his face. "I didn't see you at church though."
"Well, I took Charmaine with me. I didn't want you to see us," he says. I nod my head slowly and try to stand a little closer to him. If this is my last chance God, forgive me for taking it. "Eleanor, you've changed. The best of it is, you didn't have to tell me. You have something different in you that I want as well."
"Well, I love Jesus with my whole heart, Steven. More than anything in this world. It's hard to remind myself not to fall into the world. Trust me, it's damn hard not to have just one glass of wine or just a quick escape from reality, but it's harder to let go of this new life. It's harder to think about the ugly thoughts I once had now that I have Jesus," I say and take a deep breath in. He scans my face and smiles softly. "I'm getting baptized this Sunday after church though. You can join if you like."
"Sure," he nods and looks down. His eyes immediately shoot up at me. "Where's your ring?"
"Funny story," I laugh and move away from him to the kettle to fill up our cups. "I took a walk and it was dark. There was this elderly lady, Sigourney and someone threatened her with a knife. He didn't want to believe that a fancy lady doesn't have anything on her, not even a phone. So, I gave him my ring."
"You gave him your ring in order to safe her?" he asks.
"Well, mostly to chase him away," I shrug my shoulders and head to the refrigerator to get the milk. "Told him it's genuine. Guess who'll be disappointed."
He laughs. It's been such a long time since we can talk and laugh about something. I send him a wink when he looked at me, not flirty, just a nice one that you'd send any soul you care about.
"Gee, I meant to get you a new one long ago, but it never came across my mind," he says with an odd look on his face. I add the milk to our coffee in quiet and then head back to the refrigerator. "Guess we got so caught up in the nets of life that we lived past each other."
"Where did you meet her?" I ask him and go back to our coffees to stir it.
"Work," he replies. I nod my head slowly. Well, it's not like he went out looking for her. She came to him.
"What's she like?" I ask and take both cups giving his to him. He takes it and stands back against the counter.
"Thanks," he thanked for the coffee and quickly take a sip. "She's nice. She isn't a very good cook, but she's very good at giving advice."
"Can I meet her?" I ask and bring my cup to my face. He just stares at me.
"So, you made peace with your dad?" he asks just to change the subject. I put my cup down and stand up straight.
"Bring the divorce papers," I say unhappily to him and turn my back on him. Why would he change the subject just because I want to meet her? The kids met her! Why can't I?
"It's in the car. I'll go get it," he says and puts his cup down going out. I close my eyes feeling a lump in my throat.
"God, I need you," I pray softly and place my hands on my face. "When he leaves, give me the strength to go on. Don't take away the pain, just carry me through it."
My heart feels shattered, but I know I'll be okay. We'll be fine.
"Here it is," Steven says entering the kitchen and putting it on the table. "You can read carefully through it and when you're ready, you can sign it."
"Steven," I turn around and look at him. "Can I...will you give me the honor to lay hands on you?"
"Uhmmm, just a few hits?" he asks.
"No, not...no that's not what I meant," I reply annoyed, and give him a strange look.
"Well, it's been long since we've...you know..."
"Steven, I want to pray for you," I interrupt him before this goes too far. He sighs relieved and nods his head.
"Sorry," he laughs awkwardly. I shake my head realizing how awkward this conversation just got. I stand in front of him and hold my hand out. He puts his hand in mine and I rest my other hand on his shoulder. I bow my head and close my eyes.
"Father God, we come before you and we ask your forgiveness. I pray that You will strengthen us through this time of our lives and help us get through this. You calmed the raging sea with one hand, I know you'll calm this one as well. God, I thank You for the husband You gave me. I ask that You bless him in his relationship with Charmaine and...and please take care of him. I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen."
My throat couldn't handle it, nor my eyes. I keep my eyes close afraid of losing one tear. I've already lost enough.
"Thank you, Ellie," Steven whispers and touches my arm. It's so nice. I wish it could last forever. "Hey, it's okay."
His arms fold around me and his body touches mine. It's been such a long time since we've ever held each other. I fold my arms around him as well enjoying the last bit I can spend here.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. I remain quiet burying my face deeper in his chest. God, please hold me when he can't hold me anymore. God, please tell me everything will be alright when he doesn't do that anymore. God, please come home with me when he's not around anymore. "I'm so sorry."