Restoration

chapter 10

I can't believe I dressed up for nothing. I did everything like I planned, God. Maybe the Holy Spirit wasn't showing me the boutique. Maybe the Holy Spirit wanted me to see the truth.
"Still haven't shown up?" Andrea asks from the door of the kitchen. I nod my head and look down sadly. "Mom, I think there's something you must know."
"Sure, Andy, what is it?" I ask and look at her. She hesitates for a moment before looking away with tears in her eyes. Oh my gosh. My daughter knows. "You know?"
"Her name is Charmaine, mom and she is very nice," she says nervously and looks helplessly at me. So, everyone knows about her except me.
"So you've met her?" I ask. She nods her head. Can I blame Steven for moving on? "It's okay. You can go to bed. Goodnight, love."
"Goodnight mom," she replies and runs back to her bedroom. I put my hands together in front of me looking at the burning candle in the middle of the table.
"Oh God," I burst out crying. I look up and inhale deeply. I know where he is. My husband probably laying naked next to her holding her tight thinking how he couldn't have chosen better. "Jesus, when you hang on that cross you cried out to God and said, forgive them for they know not what they do. I ask You, please forgive Steven for he knows not what he's doing. Thank you for forgiving me when I didn't know what I was doing. Wherever he is, with her or at the office, please be with him. Guide him, Father, so that whatever he does, he does it according to your will. Amen."

Steven didn't come home last night. I'm going to lie if I say it doesn't bother me. I wasn't much of a wife to him in the first place and he needed that more than I can ever imagine.
I finally cleaned out the place. It's still ugly, but I see something indescribable beautiful. I sweep out the floors with a broom. Today I'm wearing plain knee-length shorts, a t-shirt, and hair high up in a rough donut. I can tile the floors or put in a carpet. What would be better? The best is if I get the walls painted first and then decide what to do with the floor. I don't want perfect white walls and brown floors. I want color. Red, for the blood of Jesus. Green, for new life. Blue, for heaven. Yellow, for a new beginning. Just not orange. Geez, I hate that color.
"Lord you fight my every battle and I will not fear. I am not alone. I am not alone. You will go before me. You will never leave me," I sing along with the music from the radio that I placed at the window. "You amaze me, redeem me..."
I stop singing and pull in my breath when there is a sudden movement at the door. It's Steven. My heart starts beating very fast.
"Sean says you want to speak to me," he says. I nod my head slowly and look around. "Wow, you cleaned everything out? What now?"
"I don't know. I'll just wait and see what comes to mind," I reply and look back at him. Honestly, I can't call Steven my husband anymore. Marriage is a status, but husband and wife...that's something you have to earn. "I never talk about my plans. Just now you see the devil messing that up too."
He chuckles awkwardly and scratches his head looking at the ceiling and then back at me.
"You look good, Eleanor," he says. I raise an eyebrow at him. He pushes his hands into his pockets and just watches me. I fold my fingers over the top of the broom and rest my chin on it. I have such a deep desire to ask him about this woman, Charmaine.
"Good?" I ask and giggle awkwardly. You can laugh and still not feel it. "I look like a typical housewife."
"Yeah, but there's something different in your features," he says. Different? If only he knew how different I felt. "There's something...are you...are you involved with somebody else, Eleanor?"
"Wow," I let go of my breath. Funny how when everything starts to go right, people expect it to be something or somebody else. "Actually, I do somebody in my life and I would like you to meet Him."
"Oh," he nods his head and put his hands together in front of him looking down. "I actually came to ask for a divorce, Eleanor."
My heart sinks into my shoes. By now I thought something in me would die, but I have so much peace inside of me.
"For Charmaine?" I ask him. His eyes grow round.
"How do you know? Did the kids tell you?" he asks anxiously.
"No, I saw you two having lunch. I just did my homework," I reply and stand away from the broom looking at it. "So the kids met her then?"
"Yeah," he nods and folds his arms. "Eleanor, I'm..."
"I know, Steven. She was a wife to you when I was no longer there," I interrupt him and approach him slowly. "I know. The kids like her, so I trust that they will be okay with that. It's just me that needs to accept it."
"You're taking this so calm," he mutters glaring at me. I laugh awkwardly and stop in front of him. He smells very nice.
"Come with me Sunday morning," I whisper and place my left hand on my hip. "I'll introduce you to the new person in my life. The kids are coming as well."
"They've met him?" Steven asks raising an eyebrow.
"They've accepted Him in their lives as well," I smile and force myself to walk away from him. I look around in the building. There's beauty in everything around me. I see it. I see it at last.