Hooked on love

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Mum parks the car and turns off the engine. "Are you sure you're alright coming back here? You've just finished a night shift." I bet she's really tired too. I wish I took Jackson's offer now. "Don't be silly, I'd do it for any of you who are unwell. It's what a mother is for, you'll see."

We take a seat and wait for Lisa to finish with her current patient. There are loads of pregnant women here with different sized bellies, one woman looks like she could give birth any minute. She looks incredibly uncomfortable. I wonder how big my belly will grow. A gentle voice comes on to the speaker. "Ava wood." I stand and walk towards the door. I stop and look behind me and find mum hasn't moved. "Aren't you coming?" I say. She looks surprised. "You...want me to come?"

"Please, I don't know her." She jumps in and opens the door for me.

A petite, blonde, short haired woman greets me with a smile that could ease anyone's soul. "Hello Ava, I'm Lisa, one of the registered midwives in this hospital. I believe your mother had told me you're not feeling too good this morning?" She makes me feel really comfortable, maybe it's her gentle voice, I don't know. I like it. "Not really, I feel so heavy and I can't shake this headache." I reply. "Okay, let me take your temperature and blood pressure." She gathers her apparatus and gets to work.

"Hmm...your blood pressure is slightly higher than it should be and so is your temperature. Have you been stressed recently?" Stressed isn't the word. "A bit yeah."

"Right, I've pulled up your previous records from your other midwife. You're taking anti-depressants?" She sounds worried. Crap, I haven't told mum I was taking them again. I look at her and she's already shooting me a worried look just like Lisa is. "Yes, my anxiety has been bothering me recently so my doctor prescribed them for me." I feel like I'm being questioned under a lamp like police do is films. "How long have you been taking them?"

"Around a month and a half." I kind of wish I left mum outside now, her stares are turning into death glares. "Do you think they're working?"

"I don't know." I honestly don't know whether they are making me better or worse. There are times I want to throw them away. "Alright, what causes your anxiety?" Questions like this. What do I say? "Umm..." I look at her then my mum, then at my feet. This was a bad idea.

"Pam, could you go get me a coffee please? I haven't gone home since last night." She mulls it over and leaves. "Is it your mum?" She asks, leaning forward. What kind of question is that? "God, no. I just didn't want to say it in front of her." I know Lisa sent her away on purpose, I wish it was as easy as that for me. Lisa is sitting in the chair with her legs crossed waiting for me to talk. "It began when my boyfriend, the father of this baby got angry. It just startles me and has bothered me ever since. Even thinking I'm ging to anger him puts me on edge." This is the first time I've said it out loud. I feel like I'm speaking badly of him, I don't mean too.

"Okay, that's all I need to know. Do you have anyone to confide in for the mean time?" Nick pops into my head. I ignore it. "Yeah, I do." My voice is getting smaller and smaller. "Good. Now listen, your exhaustion is coming from carrying your baby, it's taking all of the vitamins and energy from you and any extra you can give so it can survive, so you need to rest and drink plenty of fluids. I know this doesn't help, but try and stay clear of things that cause your anxiety, talk to your boyfriend. You could harm the baby." That's lovely to know and will definitely settle my anxiety knowing that.

"Okay, I'll tell him as soon as I see him." Just thinking about the conversation sets me off. "Good. You have a slight fever so rest. Don't stress so much, enjoy your pregnancy. You're growing life in you." She says. I didn't think of it like that. Women are amazing. "Thank you Lisa. Can I come see you if I ever need to talk to anyone?"

"Of course, I'm your midwife now, any concerns you have you can call this number." She hands me her work card with all her details on. I put it in to my purse so I don't lose it.  

Just as I get up my mum walks back in with a coffee. "You're done already?" She looks upset. "Yeah, I'll tell you everything in the car mum." That will shut her up for now. "Okay, thanks Lisa. See you next week." She hugs her and we leave.

"Can we drive past the library on the way home? I'd like to look at some pregnancy books." I say as we put on our seatbelts. "Sure, now are you going to tell me why you haven't told me about your anxiety? I'm still waiting on the truth about Nick as well." She starts the engine. I sigh. "Which do you want to know about first?" I hate keeping her in the dark but I needed time to get my head around everything first. "Your anxiety, then Nick." Her lips set into a hard line. She isn't happy. "Okay, drive slowly then." I say.