Hooked on love

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

“I’m pregnant?” Saying it out loud sounds impossible. How could this have happened? When? I search my memory for a time that we’ve made a mistake – nothing surfaces. I need to tell Jackson. Crap! Jackson, he’s not going to want any part in this. He’ll leave. Just as I was ready to leave him too.
 I get up and suck it up, feeling sorry for myself won’t get me anywhere. I turn to Beau and hug her. “Thank you for coming with me.” She hugs me back, “of course I would, are you going to talk to Jackson?” She says. I sigh. “Yeah, I need too. I’ll let you know what happens later, okay.” She smiles and pats me on the stomach, where the baby is. “It could be a good thing, you know.” I wish I could feel that same way.

I knock on Jackson’s door and wait, I’ve never felt his scared before. It shouldn’t be like this. I haven’t even told my parents yet, and that doesn’t feel as scary as this. I need to shake it off.
 The door opens and Seth greets me again, does anyone but Seth open the door? “Hey Seth, is Jackson in?” I say. “Yeah, he’s still asleep. I’ll go and wake him for you now.” I step inside and make my way up the stairs into the living room. It’s always so quiet and peaceful, especially for just 3 men living here. I wonder if Daniel and Seth have bad tempers, and why did their mum leave? Now isn’t the time to be thinking about such things.
Jackson strolls in with just his boxers on, don’t look at him, stay focused. “Hey, you’re here early. What’s up?” He’s acting like nothing has been happening between us the past couple of weeks! “Jackson, sit down. I need to tell you something.” I keep a straight face so he knows I’m being serious. He studies my face and finally sits in front of me and crosses his legs. “Now, keep an open mind and wait till I’m done.” He nods.
 “A week after my birthday I’ve been feeling strange, loss of appetite and bad headaches. I went online and found a woman who has had the exact same symptoms as me. So I took her advice and went to a drug store and did a pregnancy test, it came out positive.” Jackson just stares right through me, stunned.
“What?” He says angrily.
“I’m pregnant, Jackson.” I knew he’d be angry, I’m prepare for it.
He smiles and runs over to me, “really?” He looks so happy. What’s going on? Why isn’t he angry? “Er yeah, I just took the test and came straight here.” This has completely threw me off, I thought he would have gone mad and left. “You don’t understand how happy this makes me, I’m going to be a dad.” He gets up and starts to walk back and forth mumbling to himself. “Yeah, it’s your child. How are you not angry?” He really amazes me sometimes, I was worried over nothing. “How can I be angry? I’d love to be a father. I just don’t know when this could have happened. We always wear protection even when-“ he stops and covers his mouth. “When what?” I say. He sits down and holds my hand. “Don’t be mad, but you got drunk on your birthday and I didn’t and because you was that forceful, I didn’t put on a condom.” He looks at the ground. What?! Me, forceful? What kind of excuse is that? “Are you kidding me?! You’re using me being drunk as a reason to not use protection? This is your fault Jackson! How could you be so stupid?!” I’m beyond angry, how could he be so stupid? Every person knows to use a condom even when they’ve been drinking! I can’t believe I was too drunk to even know, especially when he was sober enough to stop and make the right choice.

 I don’t know if it’s the hormones kicking in but I’m getting the urge to cry. I feel like I’ve been robbed of my life. He gets up and crouches in front of me, “I know it was stupid, I wasn’t thinking straight, Ava.” I glare at him, “No, you wasn’t.” I shout. I don’t know what to do, I’m only 20 years old! I wanted to travel and see the world. I can’t hold my tears any longer, I let them out. Jackson puts his arm around me and I push him away. “I don’t know whether I want this Jackson. I’m worried. I wanted to travel at some point and now I feel like I’ve missed the opportunity.” No wonder he’s so happy. He’s practically grounded me, I want to be happy about being pregnant. It’s the greatest thing I woman can do. “Of course you’re worried, I am too. We’ll get through this, I love you Ava. I love you even more for carrying something so precious.” He gently rubs my belly. It sends a feeling through my body electrifying me. Just imagining him being a father to my child would make me so happy. The worry I had that he’d be horrible and leave me seems stupid now looking at him staring at my belly and caressing it with love in his eyes. Could we actually do this? “If we are actually doing this then we need to talk about our current problems.” He doesn’t stop rubbing my belly, “Of course, anything. I want us to work.” Who is this person in front of me? It’s like a switch has just been clicked inside of him, changing him completely.

“Okay. I guess we’re going this. I am happy about this somehow, I’ll travel once the baby is older.” Convincing myself I can leave something like that until later in life is going to help. I believe things will get better, and if it’s because of a baby then I’m glad to be pregnant. I feel like he's the yin to my yang. He can always reassure me and put me at ease, but he can also bring out the worst in me. I needed to hear that he loved me, it's all I need.
  “Sure you can.” He grins and grabs my face, kissing me passionately. I’ve needed this, the distant between us has been killing me. The problems I want to talk about can wait for now, I need this man in my life. I’ll deal with the consequences later. For now, I bury myself in the husky smell and take off his clothes.