Hooked on love

Chapter 41

Please, please, PLEASE. Before any of you read this, I must tell you that this chapter has traces of suicide and dark thoughts. If you have any triggers towards these types of things, please don't read this. I want you all to be safe.

Chapter 41

I run down the corridor and though some doors, bringing me to a main seating area. Even though it's night time the hospital is still busy. People and patients are staring at me, wondering why me, at patient is running round like a headless chicken. "Excuse me miss?" I hear a woman say. I look behind me and see a woman behind the reception staring at me. "Are you okay miss?" She says. What am I doing? I have nowhere to go. I have no clothes apart from this gown which barely covers my body and no shoes. "I'm okay, just going for a stroll." I smile and start to walk down the corridor towards the exit. As I walk past a guard I hear the speaker on his chest come to life. "Alert to all guards, there is a female patient loose in the hospital. She has long blonde hair and about 5"3. If you see her, please bring her back to section D. She may be unstable so beware." That bitch! I look at him and he looks me up and down before realising I'm the patient. "Miss, if you could come with me.." I don't stand around to listen to the rest of his sentence and run. I don't know what to do, why did I run? I'm scared. "Miss stop!" He shouts. He starts speaking into his monitor probably signalling other guards that I'm coming their way. If I can't make it to this exit, I'm done for.

 I try and push my legs but they're still weak from the fall and the operation and my lungs are begging me to stop. Why am I so weak and out of breath?! I stop and catch my breath,I feel so useless. Why is this corridor so long?! I hear footsteps coming from behind and in front of me, I need to move.

 Just as I start to walk forward 3 guards appear in front of the exit, blocking it. I turn round to go back to where I came from and 2 more guards are blocking that path. I'm blocked. There's nowhere for me to go. "Ava." I hear someone say my name coming from the exit. It's Lisa. "Stop running, you're going to injure yourself." She says. "SHUT UP!" I scream. "Do you think I care? I want you to let me leave!" I shout. She holds up her hand to show that she means no harm. "I can't let you leave. I'm here to help you get through this, you need to let me." She says. "Help me? You being my nurse hurts me so much because you remind me of when I was pregnant! You're a painful reminder!" I feel a ball form in my throat, threatening to burst. She starts to walk towards me. "I'm sorry you feel that way, if you want I will change that. I will arrange for you to have a different nurse starting tomorrow. Just come back to your room and get some sleep, you've been through a terrible incident." She says. "I don't want to be here anymore, I don't want to feel how I feel." I feel my body starting to shake. "Stop walking towards me!" I shout. She comes to a halt. I don't want to go back to that room, I don't want to hear the sound of my heart beeping when my daughters isn't.  I look in front of me and see a metal station against a wall with hospital apparatus on top. I see a scalpel and grab it. "Ava, put the scalpel down honey. You don't want to do this." She starts to walk towards me again and I hear footsteps behind me ascending. If they get to me before I do anything, they're going to lock me up so I can't escape again. I can't be locked up when Jackson can walk in anytime he wants to talk to me. I won't have it.

"I'm sorry Lisa." I grip the scalpel, press it to my wrist and slice vertically down my skin until blood gushes out onto the floor.

"AVA!" Everyone runs towards me and just before they catch me I manage to do the same to my other wrist. Instantly I feel light a weight has been lifted and I can finally breathe again. Even if it's my last breath.