Hooked on love

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I wake up staring at the ceiling. I hear beeping, like a heart beating. I look to my right and see a monitor which is attached to my finger. I'm still here, it's really happening. I try and move but I feel numb, why can't I move properly? I look over and see Beau asleep on a chair.

"Beau.." I groan. She comes too and jumps to my side. "Ava! Oh my god, you're awake! Are you okay?" she says it too fast, sending me dizzy. "Calm down, I feel fine. What happened?" My heads pounding.

"You don't remember?" She says holding my hand. "I remember falling down the stairs and smacking my head and now I'm here, staring at you." I also remember Jackson letting go of my hand and shoving me. Shivers run down my spine. "Where is Jackson?" I say.

"He went home not long ago, he hasn't slept in 3 days." I've slept for 3 days? It doesn't feel that long. "He told me that it was an accident and your foot slipped, causing you to fall down the stairs." He what?! "He told you it was an accident?" I intended to raise my voice but it came out like a whisper. "Yeah. Why, did something else happen?" She raises her eyebrow. I don't know whether it' a good idea that I tell her the truth, but I need someone to speak too. "We was arguing over petty things and he wouldn't let me leave and as I tried to pull away from his grip he decided to let go but shove me at the same time, causing me to fall down that stairs. The next thing i remember was waking up here with no baby inside me anymore." I look down and my eyes starts to swell up."

"Ava..I didn't know you lost your baby. I'm so sorry." She starts to cry. "Was it the fall? The caused.." She trails off. "Pretty much, from what I got told. Jackson gave the authorisation for the doctors to remove her, otherwise I would have died." My voice is starting to shake. Saying it out loud feels like I'm admitting it to myself and making it real. It still hurts like hell. "Please don't cry Beau, you'll make me cry. I should be grateful I'm alive." I really should be, but I'm not. "Could you do me a favour and tell the nurse to keep Jackson away for a bit, I want some time to think." I want this subject to be over and done with for now, I don't want to remember it any more than I already do.

"Sure, I'll go tell them now. You rest." She gets up and lightly presses her lips to my head. I like how she knows when to stop talking about certain things from the way I change subjects. I don't think I could handle it any longer without crying.

I come around and it's already dark. When did I fall back asleep? I notice Beau has gone too. I push the button on my left which calls a nurse. A couple of seconds later, Lisa appears round the corner.

"What are you doing here?" I say, shocked. Her eyebrows crease for a split second then goes back to normal. "Your mum told me to look after you, after your fall and.."

"Losing my baby?" I finish her sentence. Nobody wants to say those words, I may as well do it for her. She clears her throat and walks towards me. "Yeah, it's a terrible thing that's happened to you and I'm sorry it has, but I'm here for you now Ava. If you don't mind, I'm going to be looking after you from now on. I really want us to get along." She says and smiles. That god damn smile. It really doesn't make me feel better, it just makes me angry. "I don't have a choice do I? Especially if my mum has personally asked you too." I say. Her smile stays in place, not even a flinch from my remark. "Great. It's still early morning so why don't you go back to sleep? I'll come bring you some breakfast when you wake in a couple of hours." She says in a gentle voice. God she's going to get irritating fast. "Okay. Did Beau speak to a nurse for me?" I say. "Is it regarding your boyfriend not getting access to you?" she replies. Hearing it like that makes my chest ache. "Yes." I say weakly. "We've contacted him and his father letting them know. He wasn't too happy but it's been dealt with. Is there anything else you want to ask before I leave?" I know she doesn't want me to carry on, she wants to leave. "Don't tell my mum the truth about what happened." I stare at her face with a straight face, letting her know I'm being serious. She starts to play with her necklace and nods. "I won't, although from the report she's read on your current situation, she's not that stupid to work out what happened herself." She smiles and leaves. I'm not looking forward to seeing my parents, I don't want to see their faces when they find out I've lost their grandchild. What if Jackson turns up? I know he will. If he's unhappy about my decision I know he's going to come and cause an argument. My pulse starts to increased and I feel like I'm being suffocated. I need to leave, I can't stay here any longer. I may not have a choice in choosing my nurse but I do have a choice on where I stay. I unclip my heart monitor, climb off the bed and run.