5 Seconds to Love You

Chapter Twenty-two - Angelisa

Chapter Twenty-Two

*Angelisa*

I'm shaking. Not visibly, not unless you looked for it, but I definitely am. The feeling of Luke's lips pressed against mine is incredible, yet indescribable. His kiss feels like I'd never been kissed before, like this is my very first kiss. His lips are perfectly soft, and the feeling of his lip ring against my lips is amazing. Slowly, I bring my arms up, and wrap them around Luke's neck, signaling that I don't want to be done. I can feel him smile against my lips, pausing for a second before I start kissing him again. 

I don't know what has come over me, but in this moment I feel like a completely different girl. It feels like the past has suddenly dropped off of me, and fallen to the floor. The girl who was insecure, the girl who couldn't let go, the girl who hated her life, the girl who felt like no one liked her, the girl who loved a boy who died from cancer, that girl suddenly just escaped me and evaporated into the air. In that moment I was just Angel Islea, the girl kissing the boy she loves. 

And then I realize the thoughts I had only moments earlier. All those things about me that I felt go away, come right back and I tense up, and I can tell Luke sees it. I don't know what to think right now; I just thought the words "the boy she loves." I, I just thought to myself that I, that I love Luke!!! 

I turn my head to the side, pulling away from Luke and closing my eyes while taking a deep breath. I can't believe this, do I really love him? Would have I thought those words if I didn't? I know that Luke and I are getting closer but... I can't tell him that I love him yet right? Maybe I don't even love him yet... I don't know!

"Angel... What, what's...? Did I do something?" Luke asks, real concern in his eyes that he actually managed to do something wrong while kissing me. 

"No, no, Luke!" I quickly assure him that he did nothing wrong. "It's not you it's just, I just had this thought..." I trail off not sure how to continue. 

The problem is, I really think I am falling in love with Luke Hemmings, and I don't want to admit it to myself.

"What was it?" Luke asks, causing me to tense up even more. I can't tell Luke I love him when I can barely accept it myself.

But then there is a part of me that wants to say it. A part of me that wants to scream out to the world that I love Luke Hemmings and I don't even care! 

That's the part of me that I should embrace, but I don't, I can't.

"Are you nervous about something?" He tilts his head to the side and smiles at me slightly. "It's cute when you chew your lip like that." I bring my hand up to my mouth, to cover my nervous tick. "Oh come on Angel, don't try and hide it, it's cute." His grin grows ever wider. 

Suddenly I begin to feel very self conscious and even more nervous. I need to get out of this room and let my thoughts settle for a little while. I look over to the studio window and make eye contact with Michael. He smiles at me, and when I don't smile back, he realizes that I'm trying to get his help. He quickly walks over to the studio's door, and walks right in.

"Um, Michael-" Luke begins to protest Michael interrupting us, but Michael cuts him off.

"Hey Luke buddy, I was thinking that maybe we should..." I don't hear the rest of the sentence because Michael grabs Luke's arm and pulls him out of the room.

Finally, I can have some time to think.

*****

I should probably go home; I've been sitting on the couch in the band's basement for at least an hour maybe more, just thinking to myself. 

Do I love Luke Hemmings?

Do I not love Luke Hemmings?

It's like I have a flower in front of me, picking of the petals in wonder. I don't know what to think at all, and I've been thinking for a long time. 

"Angel?" I hear a voice from the top of the stairs, and footsteps coming down. I say a silent prayer to myself that it isn't Luke, and thankfully that prayer is answered.

"Angel, you okay?" Michael walks over to the couch and sits down next to me. "Luke's kicking himself upstairs because he thinks you're mad at him." 

"No, no I'm certainly not mad at him." In fact, I'm pretty much the opposite of mad at him.

"Do you want to talk about it? I won't say anything to Luke." He gives me a little smile, and I let out a short deep breath. 

"It's just... I think I, I, I think I... love Luke." I bite my lip and look into Michael's eyes. He blinks a few times, looking a little taken aback, before a wide grin grows on his face. He's about to speak but I cut him off.

"And it's like, I feel like I've only known him for like, five seconds, but I just can't shake this feeling!" I look to Michael for confirmation on what I've just said, but his mind seems elsewhere.

"Five seconds..." He mutters under his breath, and looks off to the side for a moment.

"Michael?" I inquire.

"Sorry, I just had an idea there." He looks back at me and then smiles again. "You have to tell Luke how you feel Angel, this is awesome!" His eyes light up a little, and he jumps up off the couch, grabbing my arm.

"But, Michael I don't know if I-" 

"No." He cuts me off. "you're ready for this, I know it. I know I barely know you, but Luke feels the same way I promise. You can do it." He smiles, gives me a pat on the back, and then runs up the stairs, leaving me alone again. 

Slowly, I stand up and clutch my angel necklace in my hands, muttering under my breath; "I'm sorry Braden. I love you, and I always will. You told me you wanted me to move on and, and I think that's what is happening." A small tear slips from my eye, and I find that a small weight feels lifted from my shoulder. 

Can I really do this?