5 Seconds to Love You

Chapter Ten - Angelisa

Chapter Ten

*Angelisa*

I walked into my room and set my water down with Luke right behind me. I looked in the mirror, realizing that my skirt was crooked, and walked closer to it to fix the skirt. 

"Who's sweatshirt is this?" I hear Luke ask from behind me. 

"What-" I start as I quickly turn around, and then I feel my whole body shut down. He is sitting there on my bed... HOLDING. BRADEN'S. SWEATSHIRT. I feel my face flush, and my hands begin to shake. My head is spinning as I walk up to him.

"Give that to me!" I demand through gritted teeth, ripping the sweatshirt from his hands. I bring it up to my face and try to inhale his scent, even though I know it's gone. 

"Um...?" Luke begins to speak. 

"It's nothing." I murmur forcefully while hugging the sweatshirt to my chest. 

"Was this that ex boyfriend's you talked about earlier?" He asks. And that's when I feel myself loose it. He's not my ex, I NEVER BROKE UP WITH HIM! 

"Don't say that!" I scream at him, releasing all my anger. And then my anger turns into sadness, and I immediately begin crying. I sit down on my bed, and then flop into my pillow sobbing. I cry, and cry, and cry, for what seems like forever until I hear Luke's voice again.

"A- Angel, I'm sorry I didn't- I don't even-... What's going on?" His confusion is obvious, and I feel horrible for doing this to him. I sit up, wiping away some of the tears, and bring my head up to meet his blue eyes. 

"No, no I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take my anger out at you it's just..." I trail off as the tears threaten to spill over again, but I manage to push them away. "It's just a sore subject that's all."

"But... So it was um, his, then?" He asks tentatively.

"Uh... Yeah, yeah it was." Is all I give him. 

"Why do you keep it?" He drops his gaze from me to the sweatshirt. "I mean, if you guys aren't seeing each other anymore?" 

I just shake my head in response.

"What if you brought it back to him?" He suggests. "Maybe that would help you recover from him?" My insides twist in a thousand different directions as he suggests it. Obviously he doesn't know that Braden is dead... But the suggestion still makes me upset.

"I don't know..." I bring my gaze down so that I'm looking at his chest. 

"It'd help Angel. I promise." He pleads.

"Why do you care so much?" I reply a little snotty. 

"Because... Look I know I just met you today okay, but... But I care about you." He stutters.

"Oh." Is all I can manage.

"So will you do it?" He asks. My brain feels like mush; I have one living guy who apparently cares about me and wants me to give back a sweatshirt to a dead guy who also cared about me. I don't know what to say, where would I bring him if I say yes? 

"Angel please?" He pleads. And even though I know that this is going to be an emotional outbreak for me, and that Luke will probably freak out, I agree. 

"I'll drive." I say exiting my room, not even checking the condition of my makeup.

*****

We're about three miles away from the cemetery. I didn't decide until ten seconds ago that that's where we were going. My original plan was to bring him to Kat's house and tell him that Braden was Kat's older brother. Kat doesn't have an older brother, so I figured she would catch on. But then I looked over at Luke in the passenger seat and realized that he genuinely cared. I don't know why he does, but it's enough for me to tell him the truth about Braden. It seems weird though. I mean, I've only just met Luke today, and I'm about to tell him one of the most emotional parts of my life. And yet, it feels like I've known him for a while at the same time. 

And then we're turning into the cemetery parking lot. 

"What?-" Luke starts, but I cut him off by getting out of my green Volkswagen beetle and closing the door. I walk over to the beginning of the newest row of graves, and toss the sweatshirt on the top of his. Then I kneel down in the dirt and stare at his name, feeling my tear ducts at work. I feel Luke hovering over my shoulder, and his breaths are quick. 

"Oh god Angel. Oh god I'm so sorry." His kneels next to me. "You must hate me so much right now." I hear his words but I'm not listening. I'm thinking about Braden. The time I told him I was in love with him; the time he told me the same; our first kiss; the love poem he tried to write me. Then the bad memories come: the day he told me he had cancer; the first time he ended up in the hospital; the day at the restaurant and the lady calling the ambulance; the hope I held onto while he was unconscious; the day we knew he wouldn't wake up. 

All of a sudden I feel Luke's arm around my shoulder, and I realize that I'm crying my eyes out. I turn to him and cry into his chest. He doesn't ask questions, he doesn't try to cheer me up, he just provides a shoulder to cry on. And I appreciate it. A lot.

"It was cancer." I say when I feel I can speak, bringing my head off his chest. "It could've been cured, but the doctors caught it to late." My voice cracks on the word cured.

"I'm sorry Angel." He says, making strong eye contact with me.

"It's okay, you didn't know." I reply. "Look I'm gonna go grab this poem I've been meaning to bring to him out of my car." I get up. "I'll be right back." I walk back over to my car, and realize my keys are still sitting over by Luke and Braden. I sigh and turn around. I'm about halfway back, and I hear Luke talking. I stop and try to listen.

"...so it's not like I've known her for long. But you were a lucky guy. You were in love with the prettiest, nicest, most caring girl I know. And like I said, I've only known her for a day. But I hope you know that she loved you more than anything. Like, I don't know what she was like before you left, but I can tell that you changed her life a lot. 

"I think I'm the first guy she's really talked to since she lost you. She's seems tentative, shy, and scared at a first glance. But I think when someone really takes the time to talk to her, they'd find that there's still a girl under all that wants to live her life to the fullest and find love again. That's what I've found at least. I think her heart needs mending, more time to heal, and I'm going to try and help her. I don't know how, but I'm gonna try. 

"Anyways, I wish I could've met you. I think it'd be nice to get to know someone who had feelings for this wonderful girl. I like her Braden, I really do, and I want to do everything I can to help her." He talks to Braden like he's another living person sitting there, and it makes me cry. Not out of sadness, but more out of happiness. I can tell that Luke really does care about me, and even though it makes me scared, I think in going to let him help me too.

My sobbing must of been too loud, because Luke turned around and met my gaze. He got up, walked over to where I was standing, and wrapped his arms around me in at tight embrace that I return.

"Hey, it's okay Angel." He starts, "I know it's hard for you, and I just want you to know that I'm here for you." He doesn't realize that I overheard him talking to Braden, and I decide that I won't tell him. It's one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me, and I think it's best if I keep that to myself.