Trust no one: It gets weirder from here

Life is no video game

It is almost the end of the day a strange place to start a story but Gravity Falls is a strange place so it's appropriate.

Soos is finishing up for the day when Mabel gets her braces caught in the screen door. I would've used my powers to get her unstuck but Soos gets to her before I can.

Once she is free of the door, he tells us goodbye for the night and leaves the shack. As he begins to leave Mabel asks us if anyone of us wonders what Soos does when he's not here. Everyone except for myself says no. Actually yes Mabel I do but it's best to keep out of other peoples business, unless they tell you about it.

If there was something strange going on with Soos he'd tells us. He's loyal like that. He's not the only one, I hear a whisper in my ear. As I wave my hand behind me to make whatever would've been there to go away since there had been no one there.

At Soos's grandmothers house where he lives while he is playing video games his grandmother has foil in her hair waiting for her highlights to be finished and once they are she gives Soos a piece of paper that tells him that his cousin Reggie is engaged and is having an engagement party and Soos was invited.

She told he was a man now in some ways and asked him to go meet some girls and wanted him to promise her to find a girl to take to his cousin's engagement party in a month and Soos was all sad promising he could totally find a date in a week. Which was not going to go well.

The next day (outfit 53)at the shack Stan is trying to get a kid to put his money in this little gold nugget machine he calls Goldie but Goldie is falling apart and he won't let me fix him because he's in denial that it's broken even after Wendy tells him it remined everyone of death and then Goldie latches onto Stan's arm.

Ah! Kill it, kill it! He screams. Meanwhile when Soos sees a woman he jumps into the clothing rack and has a pep talk with himself. You can do it Soos just open your mouth and use it to make words of romance come out that make sense. Instead he pops up and says.... Hi, your face looks good. I'm a Soos. She runs away screaming fear.

When my siblings and I approach.... Soos hey what was that all about? Dipper asks him. I think I was flirting but I'm not sure. Mabel pops up out of the keychains and says that she heard something about flirting and that her prayers have been answered. Yeah and if you needs a guy's opinion, if and only if Mabel's ideas don't work my friends are always around to talk about that department, and school will be open whenever you need them. Trust me they know a thing or two. I giggle.

But sad Soos *sighs* in defeat and grabs the out of order sticker, he has told us his sad tale about needing a date by the end of the week but has never actually been on a date. Which was kind of a problem and he can't seem to talk to girls very well.

Stan tells him to get rich or pretend to be rich but other than that he didn't like his chances. Aw Stan don't say that I pout. Yeah, Soos you're a great guy, you've already got a steady job and a pick up truck. Would you date him? Stan asks Wendy. Um uh hey look at the time.... She says holding up a magazine.

Maybe, if he was my age, my type and I was single, besides I think Blue is already waiting in that line on the off chance that Jack and I break up. So, that means my line is pretty short, and probably never going to move. Mabel says she needed us to go to the one place that romance happened and fashion died. To the mall! When she sees were still at the shack she tries again. I said to the mall!

Nope, sorry Mabel I shake my head, but that cut scene is gonna have to happen by the power of T.V. show editing. And then just like that we appear. Stan, Soos, myself and my siblings. Stan says he needs a replacement Goldie and that we should babysit Soos and that I was in charge since I was the only responsible adult here. But I'm 16. I correct. Potato, patato he waves me off.

Let's get flirting! Mabel says as she blows a whistle at Soos and then the montage starts. She starts with eye contact, while myself and my siblings hide behind a tree. Hi, I'm Soos I'm not afraid of your eyes at all and I'm gonna look at them. Eye contact! He says opening his eyes wide as he chases her away.

Later Mabel says convo. And this time he brings up the time he was trapped in a pigs body and that they have a hard time walking backwards, but then the woman starts walking away backwards and he's worried she's leaving because he might have accidently probably called her a pig and then corrects himself asking her where she was going.

She tries again with confidence and then he's not sure if the person he's talking to is a boy or a girl, and next we see is Stan throwing Goldie away and then goes into a place like Chuck E Cheese and the main attraction is a banjo playing badger named Will E Badger, and tells the guy in charge he wants to buy him, but avertedly gets told no but Stan is more determined now than ever to get it since everyone was giving the thing they're money.

With us Mabel tells Soos not to worry because he'll meet the right girl that he just has to stick to it and then she sticks a sticky hand toy to his face while Soos wonders if the day can get any worse and then it does when he sees his cousin Reggie with his fiancé.

Then in order to hide he goes into the video game store and finds a game that tells him it will help him work on his dating skills and he's always been better at video games anyways that maybe this could help him but the guy working there says he probably didn't want that since it was apparently the 3rd time the game had been brought back with a note saying to destroy at all coasts, which alarmed me greatly.

Soos maybe the guy is right take it from me, I think I should know best after all. But when Soos strikes out with a cardboard cut out Mabel declares that we'd take our chances, but I had a nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach about this I knew this would be a bad idea.

When Soos gets home he plugs the game into his computer and it turns on leaving him options of start and exit and one other option he clicks on start and the Romance Academy 7 game starts and the intro pops up and the game starts. On the screen a girl in a school uniform and pink hair appears, and asks him to carry her books introducing herself as GIFfany and then the screen shows 3 different options when he messes up the game buzzes and she tells him that it's ok and that he should try again.

And then when he does he gets rewarded and wants to keep playing that he was learning about dating and games were making it fun. Wow, I can't believe anyone ever abandoned this game. Soos says. And I know you'll never abandon me new boyfriend GIFfany tells Soos and he his thrilled with the idea to be her new boyfriend thinking incorrectly that she is nothing more than just a game, but in Gravity Falls nothing is just, just a anything and you usually end up learning the hard way.

It's almost like you're real, he says and then GIFfany laughs and then says yes almost but we then see that Soos's computer isn't even plugged in which confirms my beliefs, and in the morning (outfit 29)Soos hadn't showed up for work and it was the first time since he started working there. I'd looked for him in the shack all morning, and he had been nowhere to be found. But Stan was complaining that the guy at the pizza place wouldn't sell him the badger, and Wendy really couldn't care less because it was so dumb.