Trust no one: It gets weirder from here

Welcome to our house of horrors

It was the middle of the night when a car stopped outside of the shack it had broke down right outside. Oh darling niece! We have a late night customer! Coming! I called down. Come on Jack, Bill this is gonna be the best night ever! We zoomed down to the shack to find Grunkle Stan talking to a customer.

Welcome to our shack of horrors! You're in a place where no one can hear you scream, and you're about to hear the scary stories that will sell my merchandise. Let's get started with a story called.... Hey! HANDS OFF! No seriously this story is called hands off.

It was another day (outfit 39) we were in the shack Stan was ripping off people left and right, Mabel was playing with the bobble heads, Dipper was trying on the genius glasses but couldn't see through them as he kept tripping into everything. That's when things had gone from fun to ugly.

A witch walked into the shop, and Stan thought she was just another old hag. And that's when it got worse. Stan wanted one of her watches, but the "Hand witch" said they weren't for sale, and yelled at for trying to steal one of her watches.

But, she put her hand on his arm and told him hands off. Something about that didn't sound right. Uh, Stan that didn't sound good. I reminded him. Something bad is I'm sure gonna happen. Especially cause you stole one of her watches right off of her. Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Farrah Grunkle Stan, that sounded like a curse.

Dipper agreed. But everyone laughed at Dipper and his ideas except for me cause I knew otherwise. And it turns out that we were right but no one ever listens to the people that are usually right about almost everything, especially the freak with the magic powers. In the morning (outfit 54) Stan was looking at himself in the mirror but didn't see his hands yet.

It wasn't until he was making us all breakfast when he nearly dropped the frying pan and his oven mitts came off that he saw his hands were gone. I was fast enough to catch it, not that I needed to be I could've just levitated it instead. I was quick to serve it. Uh, two things, one there's extra here and two..... You're hands are missing!

Well as for your first thing I made extra for your little friends, and as for the hand thing I bet it was that witch from the other day. But check out this cool watch! In the watch the witches face appears warning him that he shouldn't had stolen from her, but he decides that hands are overrated and that he didn't need them.

Mabel, sweetie will you make me a new pair of hands? She made him "hands" out of cups and forks, but they started pulling her hair, which wasn't good. And the fake hands came off, he tried doing things without hands like drinking coffee, and waving hello to people, or bowling, the hardest part was trying to catch a dozen eggs.

That's when my siblings were all like yeah we need to get his hands back. Which I knew would be more easily said then done, especially when working with magic. Do you think I need to summon my friends are do you we're good on our own for this? I mean magic hands are nothing new to me. I shrug.

So, where does this creep live anyways? Stan asks us. Well, how's this for convenient she lives in hand witch cave in a hand witch lair on top of hand witch mountain. Stop saying hand witch! Stan complains. When we get there the hands attack us, and everyone screams. This is only kind of bothering me cause I don't exactly like being touched I say shaking the hands off, but Blue uses his magic hands on me all the time, but his are like real magic and I can't fight them off even if I wanted to, they usually need to be frozen off, but I'm usually laughing so much I'm at either his own mercy or Jack's.

After getting the last of the hands off of me, Stan sees the witch and tries to kind of more or less apologize and asks for his hands back and returns the watch. She admits that all she wanted was a date really even if he had learned a lesson from all of this I hope, but then the hands top attacking begin braiding my sister's hair.

It turns out he of course has learned nothing and that the witch is just very lonely, Mabel gives her cave a makeover and a book on pick up lines and a lost man comes to find the cave and in return as a "reward" or whatever you want to call it, Stan gets his hands back, as they creepily reattach themselves. As that tale ends we're back in the mystery shack again where we started.

A hand scurries around trying to scare the customer, when I pounce on it and put it back in its jar. No you don't Mr. I scold it. Sit, stay. Good hand. Nighty night, I tap the jar. I see you're not into hands, well ok how about.... This magic pig? I scuff putting my hands on my hips. Stan?! I lift an eyebrow. Sure he doesn't look magical now but I've got a story you might like to hear.

Abaconings is the name of this story, and it begins on a completely different  day (outfit 4) at the shack Dipper was working on a puzzle to get his picture on the box and something about it making his dreams come true or whatever but every time he did something wrong it would beep at him. Hey Dipper, you know I could just say the words and it would be fixed? Yeah, I know but I wanna do it myself. I have to figure this out on my own.

Oh, it's one of those puzzles? Yeah, I had trouble with one of those myself back in the day. Jack and Blue are great at them, but I always end up cheating and using my magic to make it work for me, puzzles are hard Dipper. Trust me I know. After Mabel and Waddles distract him a lot he says he was working on the intelligence puzzle and couldn't figure it out. Mabel wondered if he wasn't smart enough, but then he ended up reading in the journal.... Oh boy help us now this will NOT end well.... That there was some kind of magic mushroom he had to find and crush to powder and rub on his forehead for maximum brain power or whatever and would figure it out the next day.

But Waddles had gotten up in the middle of the night to eat it and became smart and so in the morning he had built himself a machine to make him talk and I awoke to Mabel screaming.... This isn't right the pig goes oink the pig goes oink! I crawled out of bed and went into the room where the ruckus was taking place to become slack jawed.

Now that Waddles is intelligent he has fixed Dipper's puzzle and tells him he can teach him how to do it, but Mabel wants him to stay with her, but Dipper says now he's got a gift and can help people. Thus Mabel is now sad and lonely. So, I ended up staying with her doing whatever she wanted, but it wasn't the same, that pig is her best friend. Which in itself is kind of sad on it's own. But, Dipper and Waddles are having all kinds of fun now that Waddles can "talk" and is highly intelligent.

After Dipper and Waddles use his new brain power to help people they come back to the shack and invent more cool things, and Mabel hopes he's not happier this way being smart and without her since she's miserable without him. But Dipper is happy because she tells him her pig will be famous and help people. But what about helping me? I'm your best friend?! I am still your best friend Mabel, and I have decided that you are right I'm glad I made a dummy switch to turn me back to normal to be just your pig again, simple and without talking as I should be.

Waddles is turned back to normal and we all group hug. We are returned to the mystery shack again after that. Ok, ok so don't take the pig, it's better if he stays with my niece. But, I know what you'll really love spooky old movies. Claymation old movies. It is another, another day (outfit 30) t the shack, we had just finished watching one of Mabel's weirdo movies, when Stan put in a Claymation movie that for whatever reason scared the crap out of Mabel since it's apparently one of her worst childhood fears or something.

We decide to help her get over her fears of it by going to the stop motion creator guy's house and going inside to find some of the stop motion figures and proving to Mabel that they were fake, but rarely if ever things are fake in Gravity Falls I should know after all. I mean look at me and my friends?! At first everything was going fine, until a cyclops moved over behind Stan on his own.

Soos, Stan and Dipper were all taken by the clay cyclops and covered and trapped inside clay with the animation director who told them that he had used black magic to make them animate themselves but they were bad cause of the computer animation stuff and were out of a job. While this was happening I was trying to track down Mabel who had been carried away by a skeleton and previously had been hiding in a laundry basket.

Mabel still afraid more or less conquers her fears by turning it into a character from one of her movies and everyone is saved. Except Soos who is turned into Gumby but Stan saves them by cutting off his head. We return to the mystery shack and Stan is still trying to make the traveler buy something but he won't so he gives him a potion and puts him in a tank. He is now the new attraction of the mystery shack called the "cheapskate."

At the end Mabel tries to play tic tac toe with the creature person but keeps changing her mind on what letter she wants to be so that she can win the game, while the traveler writes on the glass for help. Poor whatshisname stuck as a strange addition to mystery shack forever more.