#1 In My Heart

Worried

Todoroki POV

"You're going to do what?" I ask, slowly walking over to him.

All of sudden we're interrupted by the familiar sound of a phone buzzing. Kats takes his phone out of his pocket and answering it.

"Yeah. I'll be right there. Got it. Bye." Kats hangs up and quickly rushes to his room. He rushes back out. "Sorry. They called me in. Hero emergency" he says quickly. Suddenly he's out the door.

"Why do they never call me in" I ask Ei. "All I get is paperwork." He can hear the sadness in my voice. I feel his arms wrap around me. "I'm sorry. I think just ever since the incident, they've been scared to put you into action." 

"It's been years. I'm better now." Images and memories from that accident pop back into my head. I feel Ei's arms squeeze me tighter. "What would my dad..." I trail off realizing what I'm saying. Ei turns me around. "Hey. Don't do that Sho. No one thinks any less of you. You're still Pro Hero Shouto Todoroki." He says gently cupping my face, ready to wipe away any tears that fall. "I just feel so useless..." my voice breaks. "You are NOT useless. You have never been useless" he pulls me into a hug, gently kissing my head.

Through the sobs and tears I said it.

"What's wrong with me..."

"There is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect exactly the way you are" he says. His own voice starting to break.

"Hey. Do you know I'm proud of you" he whispers. "I'm so proud of you. It takes so much strength to know when you aren't okay mentally. You are so amazing, Sho. I'm so sorry, for everything you weren't protected from as a kid. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that. You have always deserved love and kindness and protection. I'm so sorry you didn't get that. But I'm so incredibly proud of your strength and courage to know that you needed help. And then you went out and got help. And you've been doing amazing. I know you think that you spiraling or breaking down means you're not doing good. But I think it's the opposite. Even the most mentally healthy people, break down. We're human. Sometimes our emotions just become too much."

I stop crying as I take in everything he says.

"Thank you" I say back, shaking but still not letting go of him. "Please don't tell Kats about this."

"I won't. You can tell him when you're ready." He whispers, playing with my hair. "Hey why don't I draw you a bath. Yeah? I'll even have soba get delivered from your favorite shop. Then we can cuddle on the couch or do whatever you want. How does that sound?" He says lifting my head up and looking into my eyes.

I tear up again. Not from sadness. But from happiness. How did I manage to find friends like these.

"That sounds perfect, Ei" I respond, tears streaming down my face once again. He wipes the tears away with his hands and kisses me on the forehead. "Come on. Let's get your bath ready" he grabs my hand pulling me into my bathroom.

I want him to join me but I also don't want him to think he's taking advantage of me while I'm in this state. Honestly, I just want him to hug me. I want to lay on him while he tells me I'm gonna be okay.

"Can you stay in here with me?" I compromise with myself asking him this. "I won't leave your side, Sho" he smiles back, still holding my hand. "I'm gonna grab you a couple things to help you, okay? Are you okay to stay right here for a minute?" He asks. I flash a smile and give a thumbs up. He leaves but comes back a few minutes later. I get up off the bathroom floor to greet him. He has a chair, my favorite manga, and a candle. He sets the chair down and lights the candle.

"I wasn't sure which scent you like best so I grabbed the lavender one" he says. It reminds me of therapy. "That one's perfect" I say back, trying to hold back tears yet again. "I thought I could read to you. That way you can listen to your favorite manga without getting it all wet." I look at him in awe. "It's fine if you don't want that" he says, looking a little embarrassed. "No. It's perfect. You're perfect. This is perfect" I respond a little too quickly.

He undresses me after the bath water is ready. Not in a lust filled way. But in a delicate, fragile way. Like I was the most fragile glass in the world and he was trying so desperately hard not to shatter me. Getting shown this much love and attention is new territory for me. But I adore it. I adore him. I can't help but feel guilty that Kats isn't here though... I can only imagine how he'd treat me right now.

"Hey" he says guiding me into the bath. "Stop worrying so much about other people." Can he read minds too? Damn. "I. I. I wasn't." I said stammering and stuttering. "Shush and relax" he said as he opens the manga to the first page. I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my head on my arms as he reads. Listening to his voice is so soothing. I could definitely fall asleep right now. As I almost drift off into sleep, I get the memories again. I wake up in a panic. Ei is bent down next to the tub with his hand on my back.

"Are you okay?!" He looks like he's going to cry.
I breathe heavy trying to catch my breath as I remember where I am. "I think I'm okay" I say in between deep breaths. I start counting in my head as Ei draws circles on my back helping my calm down. I focus on his finger movements as he slowly and carefully connects each circle. This is something we came to an agreement on for my panic attacks. I'm surprised he remembers them.

"Okay. That's enough of the bath." He says grabbing a towel to dry me off. This time he's the one carrying me. I can't help but snuggle into him as he ever so gently carries me to the bed with a change of clothes already laid out.

"You're being so sweet to me... I'm sorry for putting you through this."

"Sho. You deserve this. I love being able to do this for you. I love showing you the way you should be treated by someone who cares very deeply about you and your well being" he kisses me on the nose as he ends his statement. I get dressed and I end up making him cuddle me in my bed.

I nuzzle my face into his chest as he wraps his arm around me. "When will Kats be back" I ask in a whisper. "I'll text him, okay? You just worry about getting some more sleep. And remember. I'm here to protect you, Sho. I won't ever let anything bad happen to you. I promise" he kisses my head. I can't stop thinking about how natural the kisses and the cuddling feel. "I miss him" I respond as I drift off. The last thing I heard was "So do I."