Finding me (Howl x Reader)

PART X REDEMPTION

It took us no more than five minutes to get to Howl's castle. It looked funny, as if it was created by a child. It also had two legs. "so it is a moving castle" I thought.

As we entered, we were greeted by Michael. "Master Howl, Y/N, I'm so glad to see you safe and sound!" he said cheerfully.

"I hear you're a runaway bride?" said Calcifer and giggled. I didn't say a thing. I didn't feel like being nice. I was exhausted, cold and hungry.

"I'm Sophie. It is nice to meet you" said a girl perhaps a year or two years younger than me.

"Y/N" I said coldly. I wondered if that was jealousy or me being tired.

"Here, come have dinner with us" Sophie said inviting me over to the table. I nodded and sat down. I started eating, but after a minute or two I felt sick. I run to the bathroom where I vomited. When I raised my head, I noticed that the bathroom was visibly cleaner than the last time. In fact, when I thought about it the whole castle looked brighter and cleaner.

"I wonder if Sophie took care of it. If so, she did a great job" I murmured. Someone knocked on the door.

"Y/N, are you ok?" Howl asked.

"Yes" I answered and opened the door. "May I lie down somewhere? I'm exhausted"

"Of course," He said, "I've prepared a bed for you upstairs." He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. "Here, my bed is not taken, not for you" he smiled gently. He glanced at me waiting for my reaction. But I just stood there absolutely heart broken.

"Take this" he handed me a white cotton shirt with H.J. embroidered on it. "It is my second favorite. Try not to lose it in the palace" he smirked.

"Second favorite?" I asked "they are identical" I continued angrily.

"I will let you rest now" Howl said being visibly confused and upset. "Just one more thing... my bed is quite big.. uh, d- do you mind if we sleep in it together?" he asked a little embarrassed.

"Howl, I don't care, I don't care if we sleep in the same bed. I don't even care if you kill me tonight." I said passively.

"Well then, all the things I could do to you tonight" he said smirking and left.

I crashed on the bed. It was warm and soft. I smelled hyacinths again. It made me feel safe. I fell asleep.

I didn't hear Howl come to bed that night. Half asleep I thought he must have stayed up the whole night. After a second or so I opened my eyes and woke up fully. It was yet an early morning, so everyone was asleep. The castle was dead silent. I felt better than yesterday, I didn't have that much anger left in me. Rather emptiness and fear of not knowing what I am going to do next.

I heard deep breathing behind me. Very slowly I turned around to see Howl. He was sleeping peacefully on his back inappropriately close to me. His chest was moving steadily, his hair was on a fluffy pillow and his forehead. He was beautiful, I couldn't deny it. He wore the same exact white shirt as I did. "Your third favorite?" I whispered and giggled. Howl moved a bit and I thought I'd woken him up. He sighed and turned on his side facing me. He was even closer to me now. I observed him, the way he breathed, the way his lips were slightly parted. They seemed to be so soft and sweet. I couldn't help but notice the features of his fair, bony hands, which rested by his face.

WARNING the following paragraph includes an explicit scene. Fell free to skip it.

I felt butterflies in my stomach. My heart started beating faster as I slipped my hand under the blanket and gently run my fingers on my hips. I knew it wasn't right, but I couldn't resist. Howl was so close to me; I could almost kiss him. I lifted my shirt slightly to feel my bare hips with my hand. I didn't want to stop. My hand went down in between my legs. I did my best to hold back my heavy breaths as I quietly started moving my hips back and forth in pleasure.