Fallen

Chapter Forty-Seven: The Throne

Ash watches as Jackson draws blood from Clarke. Nightblood specifically, meaning the serum worked. He then draws some from Ash. Same results. A sense of relief floods her system staring at the vials full of dark blood. There may be a chance of them saving everyone.

"How do you feel?" Roan asks. He has been standing near Ash for the past two hours. Either to make sure she is okay or to make sure she doesn't do something stupid again. Possibly both. 

"Honestly fine," she responds. 

"Clarke?"

"Fine as well." She gets off the table. Abby stops her daughter.

"Neither of you are going to be tested," she states.

"Move," Clarke commands. 

"No."

Ash stands up. "We can't test others and then change the rules for us."

"Ash-"

"We're not Mount Weather!"

Abby quickly shuts her mouth before walking away. She stops at the desk and picks up a crowbar. Before anyone could react, she starts smashing the radiation chambers. Horror washes over the group. Once shock exits their system, they all hurry to try and stop her. Ash even manages to rip the metal rod out of Abby's hands. By the time they get her to stop, it's too. It's too destroyed to even fix it. Clanging metal echoes as Ash drops the crowbar in defeat. There's no way to know if they succeeded now. No way to be sure if they can save everyone. 

*****

Ash stands outside the door, waiting. Her and Roan went ahead of the rest of the group to meet with the other Azgeda members. Roan thinks there is no point in holding it off any more. So she is now about to become queen. About to be married. She never thought this would be the case. 

"Ash," she hears. She quickly turns to see Clarke rushing over. 

"When did you get-?"

Before she could finish her question, Clarke pulls her into a kiss. Once the shock wears off, Ash deepens the kiss. She shouldn't be doing this. Not right before being married and becoming queen. She knows this, but all logic seems to fly out the door. Her heart is picking up pace. In some ways, it's like kissing Bellamy. The feelings clear for sure when kissing. It feels right kissing her. But in other ways, very different. It's hard for her to explain or process.

But part of her wishes Clarke hadn't kissed her. Only because it makes it harder her for her to do what is needed. She needs to form this alliance in hopes of stopping a war. But they all may die any way, so why shouldn't she be happy? But then there's the whole situation of her still being in love with Bellamy.

All of these thoughts seem to swirl around in her mind, but one thing was clear. She has fallen for Clarke. She's not sure when it happened. Maybe when they defeated A.L.I.E. Or maybe when they had met up after Mount Weather. Or could it possibly feelings built over time from before? Either way, she knows she had fallen slowly at first, and then all at once.

The two pull  away, Ash's heart racing. Though it felt like an eternity, it hadn't even been a minute. She wished that it hadn't stopped, but she knows they have to. 

"I'm sorry," Clarke mutters. "But I had to before I lost the chance."

"I'm sorry too," Ash manages. "I wish everything was different."

Clarke grabs her hand. "But it can be."

Just then, the door opens. Roan is standing, waiting for Ash. She lets go of Clarke's hand.

"It can't. I'm sorry."

With that, she takes the steps towards Roan. Taking the steps towards a different path in life. Clarke stands there as the doors close, watching her walk away. Ash and Roan move to stand in front of several people. She barely seem to register what was even happening around her. She could feel eyes all trained on her. She just goes through the motions without thinking. In the corner of her eye, she sees Clarke and Bellamy slip in. They stay near the back of the room. How could she be in love with both of them while still being here? 

Her mind seems to be trying to get a grip on everything happening. She's doing what is right, but with the two of them watching her, she questions it. She barely even registers the sting of the knife as the blade crosses her hand. Sealing with blood. The ultimate bond. Once the ceremony ends, her and Roan turn towards the spectators. Mostly delegates from Azgeda, swearing their loyalty. 

A crown is brought down upon her head. The same one that Roan's mother use to wear. The crown of the Ice Queen. The delegates seem unsure for a moment what to do. That is until one of the younger generals steps forward. She kneels before Ash and Roan, confirming her allegiance to them. Other follow suit. Ash locks eyes with both Clarke and Bellamy, mentally apologizing to them. Though she knows they can't hear her thoughts, she hopes the know in some way. Ash and Roan sit down on the thrones behind them.

 One by one the delegates rise and start chanting. Clarke and Bellamy seem to disappear from Ash's line of sight, but it makes it easier. Easier for her to accept the changes that are happening. She sits up straighter; accepting the new weight resting on her. The fact that her decisions from here on out have more influence than before. That each move she makes will be watched. Heavy lies the head that wears the crown.