Disclaimer: This is the unedited version of my journal. In order to give you my authentic emotion I decided not to edit till it's done. Thanks for reading.
From my heart to yours.
To all my widow sisters, and my brothers too, I am so sorry for your loss. This diary is not an exhaustive to all of you will experience from grief. It is simply a compilation of some of my diary entries you maybe able to glean from. In the pages to come my sincerest desire is for you to clearly feel the love of Jesus walking into your storm bringing peace and calm to a horrific situation. I also want you to see that your not alone, your not crazy, it's okay to cry, as long as you process your pain. Contrary to popular belief you have not been picked out to be picked on, though it may feel like it. GOD is not mad at you, though when you look around at other marriages still in tack secretly you wonder if he is. You did nothing wrong. Though I don't have the answer to your deepest question, Why? I will candidly share of some of the experiences I have had and lessons I have learned. Please be mindful that I am not sharing from a story that has had a happily ever after. I am the angry widow on a journey to healing. willing to hold your hand while I travel through the process transparently.
From a new widow perspective, to think of me no longer loving him still to this day breaks me down. To think of my life without him is not a thought I am ready to embrace. To be quite frank I can't even move his things in our room, everything is where he left it. If it were possible I would not have moved from the date of Jan 4, the farther I get away from that date somehow makes me feel like I'm getting farther away from him. Farther away from the last time we talked together, laughed together, ate together, loved each other, touched each other, raised our family together.
To my fellow widows there will be times life will cause you to remove his name off of several areas you have come accustomed to seeing it, please don't feel rushed to remove him from areas you still need to fill his presence. For me I still keep his name in places I need till I have the strength, and just incase your wondering, yes, I still wear my wedding ring.
Are you ready? I know the last thing you want right now is to hear about my journey. I understand. I chose to use my personal journal so you'd feel a personal touch. Not just a book, but more like Neosporin to help heal your heart. Please grab a box tissue my story may make you cry. I make no apologizes for your tears, tears is the hearts way of releasing pain. So lean on my shoulder and cry as you need. I am your friend in the journey.
So grab the mementos you have found to soothe the pain, hold it tight. I'll see you on in the pages of this book
DeWanna
A/N Though widowhood is no celebration. It is a blessing to serve you on this journey. Please help me better serve you by commenting on each chapter that touches your heart. A vote helps more to be benefit from this diary. To get each new chapter sent directly into your email, please click the link to follow. I greatly appreciate your support.
YOU ARE READING
Diary of an angry widow
Non-FictionWhy me? Why my husband? What did I do wrong? Get ready for a up, close and personal look at widowhood. A real raw experience of widowhood after 19 years of marital bliss. Grab a box of tissue, a notepad for thoughts, and share with a friend as I ca...
