Solace Escape

Kabanata 8

Kabanata 8 (New Version)

I don't cry, mostly in front of other people. I never once showed my family my weakness, afraid they'll see how broken I was. How damaged I was deep inside. I should be strong. I should show no weakness.

People... always, they'd always push into going inside your life if you opened the door for them. It is fascinating to have someone beside you, someone you could call a friend but based on my experience, those with the kindest face had the worst intentions.

Those people, after seeking you weakness—they'd look for your rooting flesh and spread how rooted it was for the people around to judge you. Those people never know you personally and yet, they act as if they own you—as if they could see right through you.

"People always had ways to judge people they don't like," my mother's voice filled my mind. "Hindi mo kailangang i-please ang lahat para lang magustuhan ka nila, Sib. Kahit ipilit mo ang sarili mo, kahit ipaliwanag mo ang sarili mo'y may nakabaon nang iniisip sila sa 'yo. Why waste your time? Ang mahalaga'y kilala kita, kilala ka namin at higit sa lahat... kilala mo ang sarili mo."

"M-Mommy, I wanna go home na," I whispered in the air, sniffing.

Why am I even crying?! I'm not weak! Sino ba sila para iyakan ko, ah?!

I lifted my hand in attempt to dry my face when the scent lingered, making me sniff more.

"A-Ang langsa..." I cried, "a-amoy isda... eww..."

Iritang kinuha ko ang alcohol ko, halos ipaligo na sa buong katawan para lang mabawasan ang langsa pero hindi talaga nagtatagumpay. I frustratedly dried my face using my arm instead, glaring at the ocean of Sta. Monica.

I won't eat fish anymore! Ayoko na! It was hard cleaning just for people to eat and the poor fish... they are smelly but they're so kawawa...

Maybe I could try another lifestyle? A healthier one?

The salty scent lingered on my nose, I sighed.

"Ayoko na." I gritted my teeth, "saglit pa lang ako rito mababaliw na 'ko. Ayoko na."

I fished my phone up, activating my data to get some internet but after five minutes, it was damn slow like a fucking snail!

"What kind of province is this?!" I stomped my feet, raising my hand more to get some signal.

After a moment, I got two bars at least. I did my best and waited patiently to book a flight online and go home tomorrow pero kakatapos ko pa lang mag-fill-up ng details ay biglang lumabas ang 'Try Again'.

I screamed silently, lifting my hand in the air.

This is bullshit!

Muntik ko nang ihagis ang phone ko kung 'di ko lang nakita si Liza na namilog ang mata at tinuro ako.

"Sibyl! Nand'yan ka pala! Kanina ka pa namin hinahanap!" she screamed.

My brow shot up, pairap akong umayos ng upo. Pinasok ko ang phone ko sa bag at tahimik na naupo pabalik sa upuan doon, hinahayaan siyang tumakbo at maupo sa tabi ko.

"Uy, kanina pa kami ikot nang ikot nandito ka lang pala!" she beamed.

"Oh?" walang-gana kong tanong.

"Sungit naman," bumungisngis siya. "Buti na lang umikot ako rito, hati kasi kami ni Sol. Doon siya sa kabila."

Bitterness spread inside my stomach, "talaga? Sinong Sol? Kilala ko ba 'yan?"

"Ikaw naman! 'Di ko alam na funny ka pala!" hinampas niya ang balikat ko, halos mahulog ako kaya napasinghap at pinanlakihan siya ng mata.