Solace Escape

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11 (Revised Version)

I once heard from Kuya Deion how people's mind works.

"Sabi nga sa kanta, misery loves company," he said one night when we're all having our usual bonding in our ancestral house.

"Ayan na naman! Makinig tayo sa ating life guru!" Kuya Zy exclaimed when Kuya Dei started speaking while lifting his glass of beer.

"Makinig kayo sa 'kin," Kuya raised his hand, tapping his chest, quite drunk now.

We all watched him smiling handsomely and nodding when he got the attention.

"How can you say misery loves company, Kuya?" Scira asked curiously.

"When one person is miserable, they are unknowingly looking for someone to be miserable with them."

"Can't someone be miserable alone?" I asked, "or won't they look instead for someone to take them out of misery?"

"Easy to say but hard to do," aniya, "misery comes in different ways and in different reasons why. It's not too easy to make it out of it, harder than it is when you choose to be just miserable and sometimes, it loves company. Instead of overcoming, it's easier to embrace it and it's lonely kaya maghahanap sila ng kasama. In that way, it'll be less lonely."

We're near our pool area. Kanina ay nag-i-swimming pero ngayo'y nakapalibot sa mga upuan at lamesa para kumain na ng pagkain na niluto ng mga lalaki.

It's always our ritual. Kaming girls ang bahala sa drinks or games, ang boys ang bahala sa food at si Ate Crest? Siya ang bahala sa movie, as usual at sa illegal sites na naman kumuha.

"Alam mo, Crest Veronica, makukulong ka na sa pamimirata mo." Kuya Chiel called, chuckling.

"Duh? Sige nga, magbigay ka ng movie na super worth it na makikita mo sa paid streaming site? Wala 'di ba?" nilingon niya kami habang suot-suot ang kulay pink na pantulog na binili niya para sa sleepover na 'to. "Maraming underrated movies na magaganda 'di n'yo lang alam!"

She flipped her hair, I smiled a little and lowered my gaze to my sleepwear tonight and it's the same as hers. Iba lang ang color. She made sure to buy not just for herself but for everyone kahit kina Kuya para daw kapag maglalagay kami ng new picture sa album na binigay ko para mag-document ng memories ay pare-parehas kami.

Ate Crest's high-maintenanced but she never once became selfish. Gusto niyang ang mga bagay na mayro'n siya, mayro'n din ang mga mahalaga sa kanya.

I think we're the same for some instances but unlike her, I'm selfish as fuck. I just can't open myself to someone new again and the only way to protect those important to me is to close myself and be selfish.

Kapag selfish ka, walang may gusto sa 'yo. Kapag walang may gusto sa 'yo ay walang lalapit at magtatangkang kausapin ka, walang makakapasok sa buhay mo. Walang mapapahamak sa mga mahal mo.

Maging miserable mag-isa.

Kuya Dei's words lingered on my mind and I disagree at first. Mas magandang maging miserable mag-isa, hindi na rin naman akong umaasang magkakaroon ng kasama sa ganito pero paanong hindi no'ng dumating siya?

It was not my first-time kissing. It wasn't even our first kiss but it opened up my heart and became an invitation that deep inside, the old Sibyl wanted some company...

Her miseries... she wanted someone to be with her so it'll be less lonely.

I met with his black eyes. I can notice how it glinted into golden brown by the sunlight reflecting on it. My lips' still slightly parted while staring at him, catching for air, trying my best to calm my racing heartbeats.