This is my life (multifandom fanfic) in editing

Fake Love?

Next Day

Instead of telling Ariana about everything that happened with Ross and R5 last night I decided to keep this my little secret. As soon as I finally came out of my daydream I quickly texted Matt.

A: Hey baby. xoxo. Sorry I was busy yesterday :( I wanna see you today though. <3

M: Free all day love

I decided to go to his house, (in LA) I showed up at the door with a smile on my face, as soon as he opened it I surprised him by giving him a tight hug and a small little kiss.

"Hey lyssie." He said leading me inside smiling with his hand around my waist. I told him I wanted to do the little things that couples do like play video games, eat pizza and cuddle.

So that's exactly what we did.

I don't know how I really felt inside honestly. I guess I'm just a work in progress to be honest. I need help, in a lot of ways. But there's very few people likley to give it to me and very few people who I'm willing to ask for it.

I tried to ignore the guilt I felt inside. It almost came to the point where I wanted to call it off.

But then I looked at him, his brown eyes and the way his hair stands up then flops back down to his face when he doesn't have a certain hair style. And the little freckles on the side of his face.

And when he feels he's about to loose in a video game, he tenses up his jaw. And how he picks me up when I'm sad, how he physically picks me up. And the way he kisses me by surprise and plays with my hair trying to braid it and style it.

And when he laughs his eyes light up and his smile gives me butterflies. And how he grips my hand super tight whenever he sees guys looking at me, even though I'm a famous performer.

And how I felt the day I met him at Magcon and how he supports me endlessly. I can't tell myself that after these 4 (almost 5 months) meant nothing to me. Because they meant everything.

And it's come to the point where I don't know what or who I want.

Overview of the next few weeks

I stayed with Matt.

I texted in the group chat with R5 and I and talked to Rydel alot more now, telling her exactly how I feel and Ariana, not so much.

I loved Matt and I still love him like I'm supposed to.

I tried to get my mind of Ross and surprisingly I did. I wasn't thinking about him as much as I had been. I wasn't texting him as much. And that honestly surprised me and made me think, did I just need that last goodbye from Ross?

That I would discover on Saturday when they were finally coming back to LA. I was excited and so were they but Matt was acting different since he knew they were coming.

I was at Matt's house about to leave to go to the O2L house to go with Matt while he was filming a video with JC and Kian, both who I were fans of but have met before.

"What's wrong?" I could tell he was acting differently and I had a feeling why. I took one last look in the mirror before walking out and following Matt to his car.

He got in his side of the car and I got in the passenger seat.

He shook his head, "Nothing." And started the car.

"I don't have anything with them." I said referring to R5 and he knew that's what I was talking about.

He sighed, "You were best friends with them for years and your saying you have nothing with them anymore?" He rolled his eyes, "That's hard to believe."

I instantly got insulted. "Excuse me!" I put my arm on the wheel before he could drive.

"I'm sorry, you don't OWN me! Yeah I was best friends with them and yes I completely stopped talking to them after they went on tour. I couldn't even say goodbye. If you want me to relieve that again, fine, but me through that pain. I DARE YOU!"

He chuckled. "That pain?" He put his hands down by his sides as we were parked in his driveway.

"I couldn't even say goodbye to my best friends okay? Now drive." I looked away and talked in a mellow tone.

I could tell that he felt bad, but he wanted to give me some time to collect myself. And this is why I loved him, even though we have a fight we know when we've gone too far and we know how to fix it.

Half way through the car ride he apologized and was very sympathetic.

At The O2L House

JC, Kian and Matt all planned to shoot a video together beforehand and I was just there to hang out. Another person who made a surprise visit to the O2L house was Sam Pottorff.

While the rest of the boys were off filming their video, Sam and I hung out the whole time. And he was my favorite in O2L.

We talked about what it's like being an internet star, and what its like being a regular star. And he asked me what it's like being around Matt for a long period of time, jokingly since they are both pretty good friends.

"Hey we should hang out more." Sam said as the boys finished up their video. I nodded and glanced at Matt, hoping he didn't hear.

'Yeah, that would be super cool." We exchanged numbers and the five of us hung out together for about an hour an a half since I had to get to R5's show soon.

By going to their show everyone was going to know I still talked to them and cheating rumors would be going off everywhere like crazy, and I honestly didn't know how to think about that.

Ross' POV

"Rydel, we are gonna see Alyssa today!" I jumped around her like a child, I hadn't talked to her as much as I had been doing the past week but I assumed it was because she had been busy.

Rydel laughed at how excited I was but I could tell she was happy to see her best friend.

We were driving to the venue and we were gonna do Meet and Greet then I was gonna see Alyssa.

I was definitely still in love with her and I'm kinds scared what her thoughts are on me. I'm too afraid to ask, because I know she has a boyfriend and loves him alot.

A/N: I have not updated in forever sorry. this chapter sucks but i wanted to leave a cliff hanger ugh i have to edit this. also im going to digifest woop woop. k xoxo vote&comment