better.

14 : good night

"Sunyoung..." her eyes were glittery before a drop of tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly caught me in her arms and sobbed at my shoulder before I got to say anything.

"Gosh, Wonyoung. Why? What happened?" I pulled her in before closing the door. It was already night and I didn't expect anyone to come, especially my own neighbor.

"Ever since you stopped working at the supermarket, I got very bored and lonely. Please come back."

I pushed her away. "Dramatic. It's only been a day, Wonyoung. We are neighbors and it's not like you don't see me every time you leave the house."

"It is still boring without you, though." she wiped her tears.

We plopped on the sofa and she scooted closer. I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against my side. It amused me at how clingy she is with me even though she's already a grown woman now.

"I'm sorry, Wonyoung. We can still see each other like this whenever we are free. I'm always home alone, anyway."

She shook her head. "Why are you sorry? Of course I understand."

Wonyoung kept her face blank when she said that. That's where I figured out that me not working at the same place with her was not the reason she cried.

"Tell me what's going on, Wonyoung."

Her brow furrowed like she wanted to speak and she held her breath for a second.

"The guy I'm talking to. He is ignoring me. He said he was busy, but come on. I was only asking if he had lunch or not."

I released an amused huff of breath. "Maybe because he is really busy. What is he? A student or he's already working?"

"He is working.. what about you, Sunyoung? Are you okay with Jimin being busy too?"

I thought for a bit. Jimin was often busy but I was not really bothered by it since I have things to do too. "Yeah, I think I'm just fine with it."

"Really? So you never felt something like that for anyone? Where you find yourself thinking about someone and wondering if they are thinking of you too. There must be at least one person even if it is not your boyfriend."

"Hmm, I don't really have any close friends other than you. I'm fine if Jimin is busy and I don't think I have ever missed my brother. I will confidently say no."

Wonyoung sighed and shut her eyes. "It's either you don't love him enough or you are just emotionless."

I shrugged, but what she just said made me kind of confused. "What do you mean I don't love him enough?"

In the awkward silence, Wonyoung absently scratched her neck. "Well, don't get me wrong. I'm just stating what's obvious to me."

"What?"

"It is obvious to me that you don't really love him. Maybe, you do. But not that kind of love. You just appreciate him as a friend. The way you told me the first time he confessed, I could see you were not even excited about it. But you sounded as if you were guilty. It can be just my thoughts, anyway. I'm sorry if it's wrong."

I bit my lips, slightly realizing what she just said might be true. But there's no way. There should be at least a tiny part of her heart that loves him as a boyfriend after years of being together.

"Guilty..?" I repeated the word, trying to ask for her explanation.

"Yeah, I can't help but think you had no reason to reject him when he confessed. After all of his good deeds to you, maybe you think he deserves something as a reward. But that's kind of wrong, if it's true, you're playing with his feelings."

There was a long silence before she rested her head on my shoulders. "Forget what I just said, I overthink too much."

I patted her head, helping her to escape from her own thought, and after not even a few minutes, she was already asleep. I reached for my phone on the coffee table and texted her parents that she was sleeping over at my house.

I scrolled through my messages and saw unread messages from Jimin. He was spamming some stickers and good night wishes. I smiled at how adorable and childish he is.

Rosé: okay.

The message from 4 days ago. She doesn't really text me if it's not about work. Professional, I guess.

Why do I always wait for her messages more than my own boyfriend's...

I sighed. Things had been pretty boring between Jimin and I. We don't fight and I'm not thinking of starting any without a solid reason. It's healthy we rarely fight, almost never but perhaps what Wonyoung just said was true. I have never loved him.

Rosé: are you texting the wrong person?

My heart skipped a beat when she suddenly texted me. I had to brain what just happened but it didn't take too long for me to realize it.

Sunyoung: I don't love you.
Rosé: are you texting the wrong person?

I freaking texted it out loud. 
'
Sunyoung: yeah sorry.
Rosé: your boyfriend?
Sunyoung: no, I don't even know why did I type that

I patiently waited for her reply but I guessed she had stopped replying. I put down again my phone and woke Wonyoung up, telling her to get in bed. She squinted at me for a moment before getting up. Cute. The guy who ignored her must be stupid.

I stared again at the phone, kind of hoping there would be any notification, specifically from Rosé but that's just almost impossible. I gave in but I just feel like talking to her.

My fingers slowly got cold as I tapped her number on my dial pad. The silence and the long beep came up with turns until I heard her voice over the phone.

"Hello?" 

"Hey."

"What's the matter?"

I had to scream internally, cursing at myself for calling her without thinking of anything beforehand. I didn't want to look dumb.

"I just wanna know at what time would you come to the office tomorrow."

"As usual, 9 AM. Why?"

"Do you usually have morning coffee? I thought about buying you one."

"Yeah but it's fine. There's no need for that."

"Why?"

"That's not a part of your job. But thanks."

Awkward silence. Why does it feel like a rejection?

"If you don't have anything to say anymore, I-"

"What coffee do you usually have?"

"Hmm, mocha."

Very awkward silence. I had nothing to say anymore, but I wanted her to stay longer.

"Sunyoung.."

"Yes?"

"Good night."

"Good night."