Secret Lovers

I Want To But I'm Afraid

It had been two months since Ben and Miranda came back from the medical convention and they were totally immersed in their love for each other Ben sent her flowers each week. Thankfully anyone who came to her office and saw the flowers just assumed they were from her husband. They also did their routine lunch and dinner together everyday.

Miranda made time to spend time with Ben and to have sex at least three times a week. Tucker always assumed that she just had to work late when she arrived home late. Most days she hated going home because she wished that she could just stay and end her night with Ben after they made love instead of rushing home. Tucker was constantly trying to have sex with her but Miranda would just turn him down which lead to them arguing and there being a ton of tension between them. She just couldn't bring herself to have sex with Tucker after the way she and Ben made love. And she didn't feel like faking it and imagining she was with Ben when she'd finally had sex with Ben.

Miranda sat up in bed reading a book like she always did when Tucker came out of the bathroom. He sat on the bed and the silence became overwhelming.

"I think that maybe you need to go see your gynecologist or an internal medicine doctor," Tucker said.

Miranda looked up from her book, "why do you say that?" Miranda asked.

"Because we haven't had sex in over two months. And before that the sex was sparse so maybe you're having some medical or hormonal issues."

Miranda chuckled, "That's possible since I am an older woman but that's not it. Did you forget that before I went to the medical convention you called me a place of ass," Miranda stated.

"You are still holding that against me?" Tucker said shocked.

"Tucker I've had to deal with you not seeing me or respecting me for who I am all this time. And then for my husband who I thought was finally changing and learning to see me to say that, let's me know that he and any other man would just see my big ass instead of seeing me," Miranda said with tears pricking her eyes.

They sat there for a moment and just stared at each other and feeling the moment.

"I'm sorry Miranda, I didn't and don't mean to make you feel that way."

"You never do Tucker yet you continue to do it and then you wonder why I don't seem to enjoy being your wife,". Miranda spat.

"Do you feel that you honestly enjoyed being my wife after all these years at all?" Tucker asked.

"In the beginning I thought I did but you were the only man that ever showed me any attention."

"So you just agreed to be with me because I was the only option available? Do you even want to be with me Miranda....be honest with me."

Tears were streaming down her face now as she looked at Tucker who looked like he would be crushed by her answer. "Honestly sometimes I wish I would've taken the option to divorce when you gave me that ultimatum years ago," Miranda told him.

"Well maybe I should give you that chance again," Tucker spat before getting up and walking out of the bedroom.

Miranda decided that she didn't want to stay at the house. She wanted to be with Ben so she got up, got dressed and grabbed the bag she kept ready for when she was on call.

She left the house and drove to Ben's apartment. Ben was sleeping when he heard a knock on his door. He sat up and grabbed a t-shirt before walking to the front of his apartment. He was confused as to who would be coming to his apartment this late at night. When he looked through the peephole he quickly swung the door open.

"Miranda....what's wrong?" Ben asked as she fell into his chest.

Ben pulled her into the apartment, "Did you have a fight with Tucker?"