Teasing Mr. Fischbach: MarkiplierxReader {Dirty} (18+) ✔

Chapter 6: Worth The Risk

"Is something wrong? You haven't seemed like yourself the last few days," Juliet whispered over her book from across the table. I sat silently, staring blankly at the paper in front of me, full of jot notes on my essay material. I know it would help to talk to someone about what's going on but she wouldn't understand, nor do I trust her to know but decided maybe I could tell her without actually telling her.

"Entirely hypothetical question here. What would you do if you found out the guy you were seeing was seeing someone else on the side?" -"You're seeing someone! Who? Tell me everything." Her voice echoed throughout the library, and it absolutely made me cringe when all of a sudden we had several pairs of eyes on us. "Yes, but keep it down," I whispered. "Recently I found out that he has a thing for someone else and I don't know what to do. It's not like we're dating and if it were anyone else I'd walk out of his life and never look back but, he's different. I don't want to ruin a good thing but, I can't pretend like it doesn't bother me."

I could tell by the questionable look on her face she was desperately trying to figure out who I was talking about but, at the same time she was searching for some form of philosophical advice to give me. That was one thing I could always count on when it came to Juliet, she was always willing to try and help.

"Well I might be of better assistance if I knew the whole story but since it seems like you're not gonna tell me, think about it like this. Was he seeing you first and cheated on you with her? Or was he seeing her first and cheated on her with you? I've always believed if you ever found yourself with feelings for two different people, always choose the second because if the first one, really meant something to you, you wouldn't be falling for the second one to begin with."

I was kind of surprised to hear her say something that incredibly profound. I never did stop to question if he was cheating on Ms. Felton with me, or if he was cheating on me with Ms. Felton but it seemed more likely he had a thing with her long before I came along. As twisted as it was, thinking about it like that quickly put my mind at ease. Of course, I was still rather hurt, I don't think it's wrong to want him all to myself. However, it wasn't eating away at me any longer. I'd like to believe I'm special to him and not just a booty call. In fact, he's putting everything on the line for me. 'Obviously, I must be worth the risk.'

I knew that was a twisted way to think but, it did make me feel better. However, one thing I couldn't shake was the thought that maybe Mr. Fischbach didn't feel I was worth an explanation. 'He knew I was under his desk. Did he not consider the fact that I may have overheard them? Does he not feel the need to elaborate on what I overheard?' The feeling this thought brought on was crushing, to say the least. I couldn't deny I felt better about one thing but now another one pledged me.

What hurt the most was knowing my connection with Mr. Fischbach was mainly sexually driven but the more time I spent thinking about him and thinking about Friday specifically was making me realize this was no longer no strings attached. Very real feelings- my feelings, were beginning to come into play. Although these emotions were complex and confusing I was beginning to feel as if subconsciously I wanted more out of this than just sex and maybe that's why I was feeling so torn. I huffed and buried my face back down into the various essay materials I had scattered around my side of the table. "I don't know Jewels. I guess you make a good point but, it's a little more complicated than that."

Several minutes later we were excused by the rings of the dismissal bell. "I'm meeting up with Samantha, did you wanna come chill? Maybe it'll help get your mind off things." I remained slouched over in my seat, and slightly shook my head from side to side. There really wouldn't be any point, I had already told her all I could without coming completely clean, which is something I just couldn't do. "Oh...kay. Well, I'll just see you tomorrow I guess." I waited for her to leave, before I closed all my books, stacking them one on top of the other, and hauled them out of the Library to my locker.

I took a grasp around my book bag and tried desperately to fit my books within its walls. As the bag filled with books, I was becoming easily more frustrated as I ran out of the room. I finally let out a groan when I dropped the remaining books. "Please, not today Universe. I'll deal with your shit any other day," I huffed bending over to pick up the books I had dropped. "I like the view," a deep soothing voice blurted out from behind me. I felt a cold air brush over my body that instantly made me feel sick. I wanted so badly to look behind me and stare into his beautiful brown eyes but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It just wouldn't be the same.

I was way too hurt, and I know I'd most likely begin to cry out of anger, jealousy, and frustration the moment our eyes met. I tried to play it off as if I didn't hear him hoping he'd go away by continuing to ram these books into my bag. After I managed to cram all my essay material into my book bag, I stood up and turned around to take my leave only to do a face plant against his chest. "You've seemed distant all class, what's going on?"

The hallway in which my locker was located was dead silent and not a soul in sight other than Mr. Fischbach and I. Normally I would have taken this opportunity to get him going but, I couldn't bring myself to do that. I didn't even have the will power to look him in the eye. I kept my gaze locked on the ground trying my best to keep my cool but the moment his hand came up and grabbed a hold of my shoulder, I wanted to puke. "Did I do something? Can you please just talk to me." -"Don't touch me. There are many things I'd like to say to you right now, but I won't. It's no longer worth my time."

I shrugged his hand off of my shoulder and took a step back. He let out a deep sigh and knew I wanted my personal space so took a few steps back himself. "I think I know what's going on. Look, I have to get to a staff meeting. If you want this to be over just say the word but at least let me explain myself. Give me your number and I'll call you later tonight." I was hesitant as for me at the time there really was nothing he could say that would be a good explanation. I swung my bag over my shoulder and walked around him in a desperate attempt to escape this uncomfortable situation.

I had just made a passing by the office when my Vice Principal wished me a good night. "(YN,) can I have a word with you please." Seeing my VP within my line of sight, no doubt she overheard a teacher's request to speak to a student. I had no choice, I had to stop. I turned around to face the man who was unknowingly continuing to break my heart with every word he spoke.

He approached, with a pen held out to me. "Please, just listen to me," he looked over my shoulder and then proceeded to look around the rest of the hall to see if we were once again alone, before continuing. "Let me teach you something I couldn't in a classroom." My heart sank into the pit of my stomach thinking about all the things he's already 'taught' me.

There really was nothing he had left to show me that I'd be interested in. I managed to look him in the eye, curiously but still hesitant to hear him out. My body felt warm, and my heart was pounding, not knowing what to expect. Again, he waved the pen in front of my face and went into his pocket to take out what I could only assume was scrap paper. "What might that be, Mr. Fischbach," I sighed. Gesturing the pen and paper out to me once again, he answered me in a whisper. "Not every guy is going to hurt you."