Lost in July

XI

Collin
~
Watching Trevor's eyes roll to the back of his head as he fainted into my arms was possibly one of the worst experiences of my life.

I'm not mentally stable enough to take care of a situation like this; so, I did all I know how to do, I asked for help.

No, I screamed for help. I screamed like Trevor was getting eaten by wolves, because it felt like he was.

The blankets covering me as I lay on this uncomfortable mattress do nothing to stop the chills that creep up my spine as I recount my night.

Three Hours Earlier

"Xanax feels like..." Trevor closes his eyes, thinking back to his time on drugs. I don't know how we started talking about this, but Trevor is currently recounting the high of every drug he's tried.

"Xans are like floating on a soft cloud except you don't feel like you're floating. You're just calm and your brain is so empty that you don't even really have any thoughts. Keep in mind I took way more than anyone should at one time, so I can't speak for everyone," Trevor looks nostalgic as he talks about it, and I'm starting to think this way a bad idea. I don't want to remind him of the things he's trying to recover from.

"Maybe we should change the subject," I say, trying to sound light hearted and void of judgement.

Trevor laughs humorlessly. "Yeah, probably."

He doesn't open his eyes. He sits beside me, looking forward but enjoying the blackness behind his eyelids. It's almost as if he's trying to find that calmness he found with drugs.

Neither of us say anything and I'm about to suggest heading inside before Trevor turns to look at me. His eyes are empty and it's honestly hard to look at him. It's like he's dead. His eyes feel like a black hole leading to no where.

He's about to speak but instead his eyes begin to droop until they roll back, his head following as he starts to collapse.

I react quickly, racing to the other side of the bench so he collapses onto me instead of the metal bench or the hard ground.

My heart is racing and every fiber of my being is shivering with anxiety. Fuck. God, shit, what do I do?

"Help!" I scream, looking around the courtyard in a panic. I can't move my head much with the way we're positioned, and as far as I can tell no one is out here with us.

"Fuck. Nurse! I need a nurse!" I scream. Someone comes up behind me and puts their hand on Trevor's neck, probably to check his pulse. I turn to see a worried Margo. How'd she get here so fast?

"I don't know what to do," I frantically talk to Margo, finding comfort in her green eyes.

"He's alive. I think he just fainted. Stay here i'm gonna get a nurse," Margo says in a hurry, running to the door and down the hall shouting for help.

I gently shake Trevor's unconscious body. "C'mon Trev, wake up!"

My entire body is stiff with worry and my heart is beating so fast I can feel it pounding against my chest.

Every second that Margo is gone feels like hours and I'm starting to feel like I might throw up.

Present Time