Lost in July

XLVI

Collin
~

I was about to safely escape to my room after dinner without speaking to anyone; but, Margo July waltzed into the room, looking tired yet so effortlessly beautiful.

I was immobilized. She saw me, distant dark green eyes locking with mine. So now I'm here, sitting in the library with her, those same mesmerizing shades of green soothing my soul.

"Are you okay?" Her voice is soft, just above a whisper.

I scoff. "I should be asking you that." I throw my head back, landing in the beanbag while I sprawl out on the floor. Margo sits in her beanbag beside me, glaring at my strange position, unamused.

"Something's wrong. I can tell. You look exhausted, Collin." I avoid her gaze. I stare at the ceiling, grinding my teeth and trying to find the words.

"I'm fine." I shrug as if it's no big deal.

She's not buying it. She moves off her beanbag to sit beside me, leaning over, blocking my view of the ceiling. Her perfect pale skin is smooth, cheeks rosy and eyes full of emotion.

"Tell me what's going on," she whispers. She leans down, kissing me softly, a featherlight brush from her full pink lips. Her thumb traces my cheekbone as I hold her lower back.

The warmth that spread across my entire body is almost enough to make me change my mind about my plans. Almost.

We pull apart and she blinks. I tuck her hair behind her ear. "I'm fine, baby." I use that low, quiet voice she loves. I feel sick for lying to her, but she'll only try to convince me to stay, and I can't stay anymore. "How was the police station?"

Margo sighs, lying down beside me and resting her head on my chest. "Good. I ended up speaking to a detective. That's why I was there so long," she says.

I furrow my brows. "A detective?"

I feel her nod against my chest. "Turns out X is in trouble for a lot more than stalking." The thought of whatever else he could've done sends a chill up my spine. I don't press her for more answers but she speaks freely. "I might have to testify in court."

"There's going to be a trial?" I ask, shocked.

She shrugs. "Maybe. Wanna hear the best part?"

I wince, preparing for bad news. Sure enough— "My mother told all the police officers that I was fabricating all the stories of X stalking me."

"What?" I sneer. My body goes cold. I have so much anger coursing through me right now, and I hardly know why. My veins are hot.

"Yeah. That's why they weren't helpful. She was telling them I was lying the entire time." Margo's ability to make light of the situation quickly disappeared as her exhaustion demanded to be seen. Her posture sagged forward, her hair messy from her constantly playing with it, and her eyes void of life.

"You need to get some sleep," I tell her. She shakes her head, rolling her eyes at me like she loves to do. I can't help my smile. "Yes." I push her hair back from her face with my hands, admiring her face.

"It's only, like, seven," she answers, scrunching her nose and coveting her face from my gaze.

"And?" I drop her hair.

She punches my shoulder. "You're annoying." She's so sweet.

She's so sad. Even as we joke and play around, I can see her usual spirit and personality slowly seeping out of her. I'm honored she has the energy to talk to me.

"We can nap together. Penny will probably wake us up, but we could both use some rest," I offer. I lean back in my beanbag chair, adjusting so my head and upper back are comfortable, using the chair as a pillow. I spread my legs out, yawning. "See, perfect nap spot."

She yawns, too. She's stares at me as I get comfortable, and I can see her soften as she gives in to what she wants. She grabs her beanbag and places it next to mine, resting her head on it, facing me.

"This isn't very comfortable," she mutters. She squirms, trying to find a good position. I gently grab her hips and pull her onto my chest. She lets out a surprised squeak, but relaxes into my touch, swinging her leg over my waist.

"Better?" I ask.

"Mhm." Her nose is tucked against my neck, her ear so close to my heart. She lowers herself so her legs are wrapped around mine, and her entire body weight is resting on top of me. It feels fucking incredible.

If I could feel like this all the time, surrounded by Margo July, I'd never even imagine leaving.

Saying goodbye to Margo is unbearable. I checked myself in for another two weeks to avoid us being separated. If that's not desperate, I don't know what is. It's almost embarrassing the lengths I'd go for this girl.

We made a deal that we'd try to get better this time. Sure, I'm planning on ending it, but I do feel better. I know this is what's meant for me now. I'm content with it.

Margo sighs, and I feel our breathing sink, our bodies rising and falling with our breaths in unison. My eyes close, the smell of roses overwhelming me. I wrap my arms tighter around her.

"I love you," she whispers, right into my ear. My arm that's around her waist tightens. She snuggles closer to me. My entire body fills with goosebumps, chills running up my spine.

I kiss her forehead, fighting the urge to cry. "I love you." I stop myself from telling her I'm sorry.